Nick Westgor

[Criminalsimpsons @Criminalsimpson]

Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized ENTIRELY within your kitchen?

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

I like Thanksgiving but I also like to hide and eat my food alone in the dark.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

@TigheSammy Hook it up to AI and make it look like Zordon.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

I feel like everything I wear fits me weird. Every time I look in the mirror I think “close enough”. Like I’m dressing up as a human for halloween. Like I would look suspicious in an airport in this button down with enough room in the back to hide a bomb.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

There’s a place near me called Halal-N-Out that uses the In-N-Out logo and it’s the best thing about my neighborhood.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

They are advertising payment plans for festivals now. I hope some of that money goes to the stagehands and people working catering. Shit is hard work.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

Went my first winter without having snow on the ground. It snowed a few times but it melted on contact. My life is the same.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

@Marieeeeah It was so GD depressing the last time I was there

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

Ever see somebody that looks super old and then find out you’re the same age as them? It hurts

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

@300PoundDad Even though that sounds awful it’s still 10x more productive than I’ve been all weekend. Props to you for going outside even.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

I need everybody to stop posting about being productive today. I’m trying to be a piece of shit without the guilt.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

I think calling any young artist with face tattoos an “island boy” is one of the funniest things on the internet right now. So easy and so mean, with just the right amount of truth.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

My walk to and from work is 9 minutes. I pass by 17 fucking places where I can grab food to-go in that time. NYC can be torture when you are living here and trying to budget.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

You open up a $10 jar of pasta sauce, use like 1/4 of it, and then banish it to the back of the fridge for eternity. I don’t make the rules.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

I got absolutely roasted by some random Italian lady at an old diner in deep Brooklyn for having split ends. Just torn to pieces.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

@benneitge I heard a dude say “so what are your favorite Adam Sandler movies” when I was working at Indeed

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

One time like 4 years ago this girl came up to me randomly and thought I was her tinder date. I explained that I wasn’t, but she didn’t believe me and called me a “piece of shit fuck boy”. I think about her a lot.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

The dude at the store scanned my pint of ice cream and quickly handed it back to me so I could hide it in my backpack. I can’t explain it but we both somehow knew to keep it on the dl.

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

@merlinouwww @gamernest8 I did itttt

[Nick Westgor @NickWestgor]

@merlinouwww Hello