David Carty

Full time dad, paraprofessional, outdoor/nature enthusiast

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

A haiku by my 8 year old.

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@beyoncegarden “If that’s what you think I just said”?
Fuck you.

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

Do you think that when a loved one dies they start “watching over you” right away or is there a grace period where you get to try and get your shit together?

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

I need a laundromat but for dishes until we get a new dishwasher.

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@WajahatAli My daughter loves orbies. Once they swell with water you can use them to water plants. Just wash off the soap.

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@ApeSandBearWich My friends wanted me to go see them in concert back in the day. Nope.

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@timgill924 But what if it was a PBR?

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@JUNlPER I keep reading his reply and I can’t do it without sounding like a shitty little middle schooler.

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@AlHendiify @Universe__Lover So the owner makes $14?

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@TheValuesVoter I was watching live thinking , why is no one getting shot? It took me a minute but then it became clear.

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@AlHendiify That looks like ever male ass at my family reunions. HA!

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

How does @hwinkler4real order a beer?

I’ll have an IP-AAAAAAAY!

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

Perfect.

[Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦 @cmclymer]

10/10. No notes.

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@grouse_hollow When you leave your Grimace in the sun for too long.

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@grouse_hollow Were you talking about this mayo?

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@grouse_hollow I remember walking into the kitchen as a kid seeing my mom making tuna salad and losing my shit because I didn’t know it was made with mayo. Now at 51 i can put a thin shmear on a sandwich.

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

Ah the small town life.

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@MoRocca What, no cheese curds?

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@Planthropology_ Definatly, is defanatly the trickiest for me.

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

@timgill924 It’s good to see you again.

[David Carty @NightTrainCarty]

Hey @Afro_Herper I’m in Gulf Breeze, FL and I found this beauty. Can you tell me what it is?