NinjaPandaz

my mum follows me now so i can no longer say the fuck word in my tweets

[Cynical @thegamersjoint]

the type of thing you could only dream of as a kid 😌

[THAT SOUTHERN DUDE @TSDmemes]

“vapes are a psyop to condition us to enjoy sucking robot dick”

[Elle Nolastname @DSMSIX]

eating pussy diagonally so I can have a dutch angle view of her face, symbolizing my descent into madness.

[𓆝 ⋆ ｡𖦹 @ofishbug]

i am strange and i look like toothpaste. is that ok .

[CrownedCaribou @CrownedCaribou]

He is dancing. He says that he will never die

[🔎Al🔍 @SweatieAngle]

Summoning my gay familiars to whoop your ass

[ΔΘ ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ 🏳️‍⚧️🐇🐾 @owosieee]

I find myself so often being free roam bunny who wasn't told it roam freely

[𝙲𝚘𝚠 𝙶𝚒𝚛𝚕 𝙺𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚛 @CowGirlKisser]

Me watching the Grand Tour when the short one says "Its time for a history lesson"

[waystar turco @dollmilton]

lewis hamilton could besiege zhongdu but genghis khan couldn’t do lewis’ 2018 singapore pole lap

[zackingball @ZackingBall]

I’ve been thinking about this for over a week nonstop

[Lute @surri01]

people hurtin people dyin
jerma vinny northernlion

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

School was good? Hmm good. Well. Son, there's no easy way to say this. But Kirby just sucked up your mother and then Kirby himself transformed into a ghoulish facsimile of your mother

[manic proxy freak show @ProxyFreak]

he glows because you can pick him up and put him in your inventory

[˖ ࣪⟡𝕭𝖑𝖆𝖟𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖔𝖙𝖍⟡ ࣪˖ @Blazingoth]

pro tip for women: the timing is tight, but if you parry at the exact moment of release he gets pregnant instead

[swamp hag ✨☕️🌸🍓🍰 @potatoslav]

whenever i send my husband to the store for bread he rips off a chunk and eats it on the way home. he calls this his Road Loaf. sometimes we are having people over for a nice dinner and he brings back a baguette that looks like he ripped it out of the baker’s hand. he insists upon the bread tax. the other day we were walking home together and he pulled out the loaf, and i said, “put it back, we’ll be home in 10 minutes.” he scoffs and rips a chunk, and immediately drops the whole thing onto the ground. “my Road Loaf!” he yells.

hubris.

[omar @omar__swag]

legendary bit discovered

[Sgt Blackout 🫡 @coldcallsniper]

Easy Game

1. Hot girl posts her Wrapped on IG.
2. I DM, “This is so crazy!”
3. She replies, “Wym?”
4. I copy her Wrapped with my name via ChatGPT.
5. She says, “ No way!”
6. I ask, “ drinks?”
7. She replies, “I have a bf.”
8. I drive my car directly into a telephone pole