Jake Goodman

Every day above ground is a good day

[🎮 @foreeeeeal]

The only time I have experienced "FOMO" in my life is when I got kicked out of a Vietnamese sandwich restaurant at 11:30PM so the illegal vietnamese uncle gambling games could start in the back

[soliraw🇧🇷 @belindomita]

Yo utilizando la misma contraseña en todas partes

[Ramardo @Ramardoh1]

Finally

Finally hay moros en al costa

[Harry @lexaprotools]

Shaq: what he do chuck

Chuck: he turned him self into a pickle

Earnie: a what?

Kenny: a pickle

Shaq: your ass would have eaten him chuck

Chuck: I get it. I wouldnt wanna go to therapy either man

Shaq: i know you eating that pickle chuck

[We don't deserve cats 😺 @catsareblessing]

My orange cat had learnt that if he ankle taps his 3 legged sister she falls and he hasn't stopped doing it since

[peanut buttercup @perfectcelebrty]

….. okay

[mao_wow @realwow_mao]

when you ordering pizza and the broke homie say “get some wings too”

[ًyeray•♡ @yerayherr]

cuando solo dormí 3 horas y el profesor decide apagar las luces para poner un vídeo

[Sophia Benoit @1followernodad]

Christopher Nolan didn’t have the balls to let the audience actually hear the siren’s song (Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado ft Timbaland)

[James @exhaustdata]

The plot of The Odyssey is not dissimilar from the 28 year old’s weekend in Chicago. Just a bunch of things one after another after another after another after another after another after another

[pbit @0xPBIT]

everyone. is. george.

[l feII in Dior @LIRIO_AG]

“Ay no, tarjeta gris otra vez”.

[We don't deserve cats 😺 @catsareblessing]

Bro, stop.. before we get kicked out

[Jake Wilson @LaMotta248]

just watched Project Hail Mary and here is my sequel pitch - after returning to Earth, Gosling and the rock monster move to LA and start a small private detective agency… also the rock monster is now played by Russell Crowe

[Eddie Machín @eddie_machin]

No tengo corazón para decirle a Calvin que ya eliminaron a la Selección y le tengo que quitar su playerita toda mugrosa. 🥺