just putting this here if people want to know me better
name : nishai
age : <60
pronouns : mmmm... pronouns...
gender : nishai
likes : my friends, some fromsoft games, cool and kind people
dislikes : mean people, flat earth conspirator
Sex into aftercare is crazy if u think abt it, i just fucked my gfs throat while calling her shit like rape meat and then I read her Peter Rabbit while she dozed off on my chest holding her plush animal
i know i am not going to make it far, i wish you were here and told me how sorry you are but even then, does it really matter? i have forgiven people that wronged me but my heart aches, why can't i just forget about it, i know none of you really mean to scar me for life, i know..
i am forever ashamed of letting myself gets hurt in the first place. i am sorry for being unable to be the perfect child you always wanted me to be, i am sorry for having feelings, i am sorry for getting hurt, i am sorry for not being grateful, i know you don't mean to hurt me...
but everytime i wake up in fear and cold sweat i can do nothing but cry, it feels unfair yet, i don't have what it takes to be bitter towards it, all of these scars and cuts are slowly losing it's meaning, even if it fades away even if i am fixed, people still can see it and...
i miss when my parents would sing a song along with me and play with me, we would go to park, circus and every lovely places together, too bad they found out my bloody tissues and razors, boohoo