Nick Woodruff

Meat-Fed comedian. Dad 1st. Surprisingly good at nunchucks. Charmingly gross & offensive enough for the whole family. #2BitsAGander

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

Why say "I was sexually assaulted by a priest", when you could say I was B'lessted"?

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

There's a new Tron? & There's black people in it?! Heck yeah, take that #TheJetsons!

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

@JellyRoll615 Great job sir.

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

"DON'T QUEST SHAME ME!" he yelled shamefully

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

I'm not trying to talk bad about my algorithm or anything... but...
do guys ever ride... the Slingshot? Just wondering

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

Idk if it's really bad camera angles or if this match just sucks or both but #CodyRhodes vs #DrewMcintyre on @WWE #raw is not good tonight. Might as well be figure skating.

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

Why does #GregOlsen look like #BillHader playing #GregOlsen on #snl ?

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

One of the best @AreYouGarbage episodes so far with @dustyslay!

https://t.co/rL3ATqSGWR

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

@brutalfightz Lizzo vs Taylor?

[Chuck Bass @ChuckFBass]

Lauren Boebert before she was kicked out of Beetlejuice

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

@Travistritt @dustyslay @netflix #Legends

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

@CarloMVigano It's just a book you kidfucking demon, like the bible you love to misinterpret when it suits you. Fuck outa here and all these brainwashed hate peddlers. I thought God loved everybody?

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

@luna_baylee You're really stunning

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

@healsl9t Nothing. I'd be respectful and mind my own business. Nobody wants to be hassled.

[TN Brando 🇺🇸🦅 @Tn_Brando]

Not Electing Hillary Clinton Was Our Biggest Mistake

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

@juggalo_sosa Woop Woop ninja what's shakin

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

Really, I'm just "Community Theatre Chris Farley".

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

@prettykkittykat The 💰

[Nick Woodruff @Nixnotfunny]

@MNRick_v3 @EdKrassen Why are you "grooming" these children?

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

Dear Ma & Pa MAGA,
No one is grooming your kids to be gay or transgender.
No one is indoctrinating them with “woke math” or “CRT”.
No one is forcing them to identify as furries and having them do their pee pees in litter boxes at school.
And no one is teaching them to hate their whiteness or that America is ‘inherently evil’.
These are lies you’re being told and they are lies you’re also telling.
But that’s all they are.
Lies.
So cut the shit.

[The Iron Sheik @the_ironsheik]

DALI LLAMA YOU SICK FUCKING JABRONI PIECE OF SHIT I AM GOING TO BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH AND RIP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH JABRONI GO FUCK YOURSELF