HazelWassername - she/her

7/16/23 Recorded max squat: 15 Alexes

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

Once he found out that car isn't really about horses, he lost interest

[Jared Gilman @realJaredGilman]

his job is car

[J.S. Park 박준 @jsparkblog]

I’ve been a hospital chaplain now for eight years at hundreds of deathbeds. I want to tell you something I’ve witnessed.

Most people, at the end, realize they’ve spent a lot of their life hiding. Sometimes by choice, or because they could not safely choose to be themselves. ➡️

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

@dieworkwear In this way, you are heroic

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

😭

[Classic_History @ksgnr1]

@TopGirlKeiko It's my jam

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

surround yourself. with those who would flip your ear back for you. if it ever went inside out

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

@leftyindiana2 Does the "sleeveless athletic jersey" policy apply to extracurriculars? Be kind of a dipshit move to give your own athletes sleeveless jerseys, then make them wear tshirts under them. The track & field team is going to look ridiculous.

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

Hey @CI_Carmel - What's with the free advertising at the end of your article about Moms for Liberty? The subject of the piece was how they quoted *Hitler* in their newsletter.

[Ty Neal @TysonBNeal]

What a great day at the yard (and a great picture) for the @CDCPupsBaseball 10u teams. Hardware with dads on Dad’s Day. Will see a couple of these lads at camp tomorrow.
#thisisCarmel

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

Take it from me, an old-timer who definitely has untreated PTSD

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

Now available as Unlicensed Counselor to all my friends whose kids were babies during COVID lockdown and thus are experiencing e-learning for the first time.

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

@MistahScrod @OhNoSheTwitnt Joints are poisonous but Tucker's Lucky Strikes are *toasted*

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

@shutupmikeginn If you listen very closely to the commercials, you can hear the muffled screams from within

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

@NerdlingAlong @clhubes This is the Theatre Campiest story I've ever heard.

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

@bunsenbernerbmd This is Maggie. We adopted her July 30, 2022. By the time she turned 2 in August, we were the fifth home she'd had. (Surrendered by a family to a shelter, to a foster, to a foster, to us) She is our Derp Queen. ❤️ I don't remember who we were without her.

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

@The_LaborLawyer Unreasonable, but also a gift: Now you know you don't need to return that call. One less thing.

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

@Simplycee @The_LaborLawyer Ok but...why would people in jail be calling someone who self-identifies as The_LaborLawyer

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

It was the fuckaroundest of times, it was the findoutest of times

[Scott MacFarlane @MacFarlaneNews]

FLASH: DC jury finds Richard Bigo Barnett guilty in Capitol riot trial. All counts

[Sigurd the Mighty @MightySigurd]

I am so tired of living like it's the 1600s. Can I afford eggs at the market? Are my friends gonna die in the plague? Puritans coming for my sinful lifestyle. I want some modern problems. Modern Problems

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

@conz @clhubes That's a smart plan regardless of the scorpion issue

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

UPDATE He's still looking. Me: "Would now be a good time to reopen the Second Shorts conversation?" Him: "NO. TOO SOON."

[HazelWassername - she/her @NoNoNotorious4]

Husband: "GRRR I can't find my running shorts!"
Me: "Have you considered owning more than one pair of running shorts?"
H: "I DON'T NEED MORE THAN ONE PAIR."
I'm still watching him look for them. For $22.99 he could have been running already