Vladdy P.

I am parody account of grand master of largest no-homo zone on planet. Read tweets in thick, Russian accent. Putin's chest is saggier, manlier than yours.

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

@SochiProblems Not true. I bought it for 2,000 rubles from @CountBettman.

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

Cannot watch ceremonies. Must go meet Ukraine President Yanukovych to talk strategy, practice shiatsu on each other. Is just hobby.

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

.@Canada: You may be best in hockey, but you have long way to win gold in corruption, riding shirtless on horse & repressed homosexuality.

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

#Sochi2014 is over. All left to do is make final collection of rubles from #Yzerman, come out of closet on Facebook. #CanadavsSweden #Canada

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

#Sweden prove they are indeed dancing queens. #CanadavsSweden

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

In Canada, wearing this hat for silly fans. In #Russia, is sign of mental retardation.

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

#Canada score easy! #Sweden suck! Who on Swedish first line, ABBA? #CanadavsSweden #swedenvscanada

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

#Canada has player named #Vlasic. Is named after pickle! Who are teammates Sydney Cucumber & Fairy Price??? #CanadavsSweden #swedenvscanada

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

As revenge for giving world Ikea I force #Sweden to assemble own silver medal! Revenge for #Canada? I let #DonCherry live. #CanadavsSweden

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

Dan Alfredsson still play! Career began during time of Brezhnev, before gay people existed. #olympichockey #CanadavsSweden

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

No sour grape, but Gold medal #Olympichockey game is not cool. Swedish Sissies vs. Canadian Queers.

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

Hockey loss is upsetting, but is more upset that cousin Teddy Ruxpin enjoys ballroom dancing, musicals #Olympics2014:

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

I cannot tolerate racist stereotypes against Russians. Hashtag #gulag is for hacks who are probably light in loafers, wear pink.

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

@EricGoodman I have sealed borders!

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

Punishment for #Russian hockey team: Siberian #gulag with #homosexuals, and lots of vodka - but not for them. #Sochi2014 #OlympicHockey

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

#Russia lose hockey to #Finland. I say to angry Russian public: Relax! Is not end of world for non-#OlympicHockey-playing Russians. #Sochi

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

We lose because coach of #Russian hockey team no take my advice to have mandatory homosexual testing for players. #OlympicHockey

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

KGB tell me Matthew McConaughey to win Oscar for playing gay AIDS man. Pfft! Was much better as real man in
"How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days".

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

#Gay player in manly #NFL? Hard to believe. Is game where man holds hands between other man's crotch to retrieve long, penis-shape object.

[Vladdy P. @NoPutinMe]

Taking break from #Olympics to look at watch friend #Prokhorov's all-star match. Unclear why pilot from "Soul Plane" is hipping, hopping.