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@RobSchneider I mean I have like this much 👌more respect for your opinion than Catturd2 so I mean you got that going for you. @LastWeekTonight @nbcsnl

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@RobSchneider Isn’t your wife from Yucatán? What’s with all of your Mexican-bashing when you have a Mexican wife you has-been? Go make some copies of your résumé and see if your buddy Sandler can give you a job since no one else will you hypocritical unfunny hack @AdamSandler

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@RepMTG Yeah that’s what happens to people who commit crimes. All the things on your list are because crimes have been committed by the “Trump crime family.” Or the Trumpf crime family since many monsters do change their original name to try and fit in

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@megynkelly I’m sorry, Snowflake? Did you not like the trolling? Maybe grow another pair. Your 🍊 one does nothing but talk 💩 so maybe learn to take it like you dish it, Megyn. You couldn’t hack it on legitimate TV so crawl back into your right-wing echo chamber niche. @GavinNewsom

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@Sadie_NC I think Marissa Tomei won best supporting actress and it made a bunch of money so no, Captain obvious, a few other people than you thought this was a pretty good movie.

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@StephenKing Man, I have been to the Stanley for a wedding and yesterday I stayed in El Cerrito with my crazy rich uncle who did not turn on the heater overnight so it was 45 outside and 45 in the house and I was freezing and I took this picture and you are welcome man 🤣

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@StephenKing And that’s why you don’t mess with the King! And if you come at the King, you best not miss, Marg!

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@georgesantos That’s a threat! Hello Twitter police? Yeah Santos just said he would arrange a funeral which implies violence so I think “woke” needs a restraining order against Mr. Santos. Thank you 🙏 @LastWeekTonight

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@LauraLoomer Well that’s what happens to criminals. They have to pay for their crimes. Because America is already great and 🍊 one doesn’t make anything great. He usually bankrupts it after a few years. #atlanticcity @LastWeekTonight

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@elonmusk There’s a real banger, Musk. Stop tweeting so much. You don’t have to post every random though that pops into your ketamine-addled 🧠 @LastWeekTonight

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@ACTBrigitte For Time Magazine’s Self-Obsessed Daddy’s Sycophant, Spoiled Brat Who Never Had To Have a Real Job Of the Year Award? Sure. Yeah. He wins that award every year. @LastWeekTonight @rickygervais

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@LauraLoomer Just like a dog loves his master

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@StephenM You are leading a deadly un-errecti0n, Miller. At least that’s what your wife told me.

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@LauraLoomer Seems like you know a lot stalker

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@LauraLoomer What are you his official lapdog now?

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Just an average day for me

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@mtgreenee I love how 10% of the population of Iowa or maybe 300k out of 3 million is crushing it for you and the 🍊one.

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@elonmusk I would say you almost make a point but instead I’ll say that I think we should discriminate based in the size of one’s head so based on your head size, you are a homeless person who💩’s on himself. @LastWeekTonight

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@Travis_in_Flint First of all, you probably printed this out yourself and second of all. See first thing. @LastWeekTonight Also, you’re an idiot.

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@samosaur I was BORN in *Fort Bragg!!!

*Fort Bragg, California in Mendocino County. #truestory