Norel

decent humor • average hygiene • probably procrastinating

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

“As an entrepreneur, my job is to get stuff done,” said a guy on a commercial. Um, isn’t that what every person’s job is?

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

Batman’s a shit detective if he always gets himself beat up by Bane before “realizing” that he should just pull the damn tubes out of Bane’s back. Like, that’s obvious right? If a villain has tubes on their costume, step one should ALWAYS be pulling them out to see what happens.

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

Well, looks like that two hour nap I took earlier really backfired on me. #obvs #whyyyy #sleepnowplz

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

I dreamt that I found a vibrating massage feature on my bed which I did not notice before. Waking up is tough today. :,(

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

You know what’s hard to find when your school buys Staples brand supplies from Staples? Actual staples. #everythingsaysstaples

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

There are two main reasons why I don’t leave my apartment: because clothes are a hassle and because my parking spot is too good to risk leaving. #troof

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

Okay, love Queer Eye, but how about a show called Rich Eye? It'll be about a group of five rich guys who come to my apartment and pay my rent and student loans and buy me cool things that I want/need. And maybe one of them proposes to me. #stillworkinginthekinks

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

I’m usually not a big fan, but Miranda Sings is HILARIOUS on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

Every few days, I wipe my glasses with the recommended microfiber cloth, and it allows me to experience some personal clarity for a couple of hours. #smudgysmudgerson

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

Hey everybody! Let’s not forget that Mulan’s dog’s name is Little Brother! #thatscute #helpmenottomakeafoolofme

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

@nickAD Oh, that’s a typo. It should read, “life is shorts; fill it with booty”.

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

I’m doing this thing where I’m wearing my oldest, most hole-ridden underwear one last time before retiring them to the great beyond. The great beyond is the title of my online store which sells my used underwear. #justkidding #butifyouactuallywantthem #DMme #twentyperpair?

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

Man, I made a whole bunch of unnecessary purchases this month. Risky July, meet Thrifty August. #twomoredaysofspending #whatshouldiget

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

A quarter cup of sugar looks like a lot to consume until you put it in a mug with flour and cocoa and oil and water and pop it in the microwave. #brownieinamug #unffff

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

I think a good motivator for me would be to get fit enough to be Ja Rule for Halloween. From the Pain is Love album, of course. #murdaaaa #inthebackseatofaYukon #painislove

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

Wise men in shows about groups of badass teens: “You’re Asian, so you’re our martial arts master. And you’re a girl, so here’s a pink costume and a love triangle to be a part of. Fat guy, just be your hilarious self. And dumb white male, you get to be leader for zero reasons.”

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

Oh. My. GODDDD. Chuck is SUCH a dumbass! Why am I rewatching this show? God, what an idiot.

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

As a rule, the more followers a gay man has on Instagram, the more into astrology he will be. #homoscopes #butwhytho #typicalsagittarius #jk #notenoughfollowers #toknowwhatimtalkingabout

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

Life hack: drink water when you feel thirsty.

[Norel @Noel_Ang]

It’s 4am, and I am experiencing zero tiredness. If you see me out and about tomorrow, please tell me to give up and take a nap. #formyowngood