Chad McCormack Archives

Hi, I'm Chad. I will be posting random entries from my lifelong love of diary keeping. A few family members have agreed for me to share some of theirs as well.

[Chad McCormack Archives @NoleSchool1]

@jarvis_best Body count bit misleading. 3 of 4 were from infected bite marks. The 4th was gruesome, but to be fair wine was stronger back then.

[Chad McCormack Archives @NoleSchool1]

June 9, 1993 Diary Entry

Cousin Gord is visiting from Moose Jaw so i took him to a sports bar to watch the stanley cup. He passed out early in the first period, but was ecstatic to hear the good news when he woke up. Told me to write down some 30 year predictions so future Gord can see how smart past Gord was. I wrote them down word for word will be fun to see how accurate he is. 1. Canada will take home the cup a min of 20/30 times. 2. Beaver pelts will overtake gold on world markets. 3. Scientists will declare Poutine a superfood and the entire world will embrace it. He began singing God save the queen before passing out again.

30 year update. 1. Canada never won another cup. Vegas odds say it is twice as likely a donkey will win the kentucky derby before it happens again. 2. Beaver pelts did not overtake gold. 3. Scientists discovered that Poutine causes extreme dimming of the wits and senses and is mainly responsible for the popularity of curling in Canada. I gave Gord a call to remind him of his bold 30 year predictions and he asked me if i wanted to buy a shed full of beaver pelts just before i heard him pass out through the phone.

[Chad McCormack Archives @NoleSchool1]

Nancy McCormack (mom) diary entry sep 17, 1972

Chad has been doing great in kindergarten but was sent to the principals office today. Apparently he walked in on female classmate <name redacted> taking a poop. Instead of leaving he calmly began to pee his own pants while locking eyes with <name redacted>. His explanation was twofold. The stare down was an attempt to gain an edge in a game of duck duck go, the urination was a protest against the one child per mat during nap time policy handed down by the district earlier in the week. We told him to never behave that way again, but secretly his father and i were both proud of his moxie.

[Chad McCormack Archives @NoleSchool1]

Diary entry Aug 23, 1981

Excited to be turning 13 in a few days. I asked Uncle Tony for an Elton John record. He stopped by with a music store bag and gave me a birthday pep talk, in fact he had me write it down word for word so i could look it over often.
"Listen Chad, you're almost 13, a man. What I’m telling you used to be common sense but these days nobody but your uncle Tony has the balls to tell the truth so listen up. There are two paths you can take in life, gay or not gay. Elton John, which path does that feel more like Chad? Damn right the gay one. He handed me the record bag. Now, listen to what non gay sounds like Chadster. Kick ass rock and roll. In your face, American made, all about dudes getting chicks, cavemen grabbing the women by the hair. Zero percent gay! “

I opened the bag, Queen.

[Chad McCormack Archives @NoleSchool1]

Diary entry Feb 22, 1980

Watched the olympic hockey game with dad and the usa won over the soviets. It was the happiest i've ever seen dad. After the game he screamed "eat sh-- (poop) commies!, loud enough to wake up mom. She yelled at him for a few minutes and he replied "if you don't love beer and america you should have stayed with that hippie commie lover you dated in college, holy crap you can suck the joy out of anything."

Note: Fun looking back at this diary entry. What a great day! We beat the soviets! And that peek into mom and dad communicating differences of opinion in real time? You can feel the love in that conversation.

[Chad McCormack Archives @NoleSchool1]

Diary entry Jan 27, 1986

Cant wait for school tomorrow, my teacher is bringing a tv and we are watching the space shuttle challenger. Should be fun. I would like to be an astronaut some day, actually one of the most statistically safe jobs you can get.

Diary entry Jan 28, 1986

The space shuttle blew up. My teacher cried, they let us wander around the school all day after, nobody could concentrate on any schoolwork. I've given it some more thought, i no longer want to be an astronaut, i want to be a puppeteer.

Note: Looking back on these diary entries made me shiver. I did go on to become a puppeteer. In fact, Puppet Magazine Weekly listed me as one of the top 10 up and comers in the annual hardback edition. Sadly, only a few years later a judge had banned me from doing puppet shows for life.

[Chad McCormack Archives @NoleSchool1]

Diary entry Nov 8, 1978

Uncle Tony and dad got into a shoving match at the bowling alley today. Dad bought me an ice cream and explained the situation, "Perfect storm son! League championship, tense final game, you start the backswing and a group of children begin to sing happy birthday two lanes away, a toe slips over the line, pefect friggin' storm. Don't tell your mother. I asked him for a Reggie Bar after the ice cream. He looked at me funny and said "sure champ". He never lets me eat candy bars. On the drive home i wondered if i could have also got some pop rocks.

My first foray into the mechanics of the parental bribe. It would not be the last. My mom backed the car into the garage door a few years later, i came away from that with ten dollars and a duncan yoyo.

[Chad McCormack Archives @NoleSchool1]

Diary entry Aug 9, 1977

Dad took me to the dentist and then we saw the movie star wars. I told him my favorite part was the giant squealing monkey chewey. Dad said the future didn't make any sense to him, they can teach a monkey to fly a spacecraft but not to speak? He also said the gold robot seemed to be a fruitcake, not sure what he meant by that.

Didn't know it at the time but star wars would go on to be a pretty big hit. Looking back dad was right. To this day i have never heard a reasonable explanation on why that monkey couldn't talk.

[Chad McCormack Archives @NoleSchool1]

Diary entry July 17, 1982

Got my birthday card from grandpa today but no $5 bill like last year. Instead it was 100 shares of stock in a company called Apple telling me not to sell till i'm 30 years old, so basically an old man. haha. Mom thought it had something to do with the fruit stand near grandpa's house in Cupertino. The man at the store that does stocks and stuff told me each one was worth 4 cents. The company is a typewriter and calculator all in one or something, not the fruit stand. I cashed it in but have to wait 3 weeks for the check to arrive in the mail. So a full dollar less than last year and i have to wait? haha I'm not mad at grandpa, he doesn't understand the future times we are living in like i do.

This old diary entry put a giant smile on my face. $4 in the mail from grandpa, as good as it gets when you are a kid!