Dave Ottley

Comedian
Kiersten, Avery🏳️‍🌈,Emma🏳️‍🌈 & my cats make me 😂
Can u feel the East wind? It wasn’t me!
insta: therealnoneckdave
TT: noneckdave
Endorsed by Kier

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

My two loves. Family. Followed by Standup.

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

I would give anything for @russellhoward & @paulchowdhry to have a @BBC show.

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

Just posted a photo https://t.co/vCet2mr7PS

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

Just posted a photo https://t.co/ICRqScXJen

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

Just posted a photo https://t.co/nSkmIAhvP1

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

@DerrenBrown @watsoncomedian Me too. Such a beautiful twist. Now I can go back to thinking about @watsoncomedian trying to sneeze.

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

U never understood Our Creator because u projected ur own shit onto Them. U saw Them in ur own lens. How could you judge the Maker if u can’t even judge urself correctly? This is why the loving will see Them as kind, merciful & compassionate; arrogant & self-centered see harsh.

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

Do you know how many times a day our brains lie to us? Are we truly not worth better leaders? Are we really not successful if we don’t make enough? Have nice cars? Have the ability to dunk? Fly to space? If those you look up to are so perfect, why don’t they seem content & happy?

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

Just posted a photo https://t.co/k4me2p11QP

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

@adam3us Funny tweet. When I got to the part of @SociableBarely explaining the argument vs @gavinandresen : I said to my wife, “knowing human behavior & change of beliefs of Satoshi: look for whoever has the most 2 gain.”

the irony: u became the hierarchal power u preached 2 hate.

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

So say we actually truly learn to give a shit about our athletes & their welfare. When do we start doing the same for children? Forcefully sending them to school during a GD pandemic. What about their mental health? People are drowning & all ur leaders are making money off it.

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

2021- athletes deserve to take care of their physical & mental health? It’s not like @Disney, @espn & the @ufc make $ off of fighters destroying their physical & mental health. You know what’s not a fair fight? Fighters’ wages & benefits. @danawhite

[Susie Dent @susie_dent]

Confelicity is joy in someone else's happiness. Compassion is sorrow in their distress (from the Latin for 'suffering together').

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

Anyone else notice the difference between fans’ reactions to a super league in European Football compared to the fans’ reactions of Oklahoma & Texas joining the SEC?

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

I’ve been listening to @lilyallen ”Lost My Mind” nonstop. As my brain has been declining rapidly due to my overall health, I find the song relatable to the fight with my body as it betrays our mural agreement to live. Fuck you body. Thank you again Lily.

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

I think the world is trying to say, “Humans, you’d done fucked up!” It’s the Earth’s way of giving us a spanking. Moral of the story: Stop racing to space when u have done a shite job at taking care of ur first home. Space don’t want ur ass.

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

Billionaire media coverage is as shit as the billionaires. These men aren’t gods. They are hoarders who seem incapable of understanding the vulnerable. Until we redefine what true success means as a society, our system will keep generating children masquerading as leaders.

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

@AJemaineClement It would be an absolute tragedy if Ppl don’t turn into the @TheCW to watch #WellingtonParanormal next week. I hate when the best shows don’t get the press they deserve. @AJemaineClement you’ve created another gem.

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

Guess what I would do if u gave me all the world’s wealth & money? Not have a penis measuring contest by seeing if I could travel to space first!

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

When I feel hopeless, I watch @rustyrockets YouTube podcast vids. Yes, the 🌎 is still on🔥 but luckily there are others who understand why it’s on 🔥. Our system is corrupt & unwell, how can it create a healthy future for us without being fixed? Truth sets u free.

[Dave Ottley @Noneckdave]

July 7th ‘21
7 7 7•3

My brain should not look forward to a date as much as it does.

July 7th, I’m already smitten. Let’s dance.