Norminal News

The latest in *satirical* spaceflight news, hot off the turbopumps.

Run by a 🏳️‍🌈 against fascist scum

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@MikeChillit @DJSnM

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Her Elon simping obviously cursed it 🤢

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If it's any consolation, Nicki Minaj didn't get to see a rocket launch today either...

[SpaceX @SpaceX]

Standing down from today’s flight test

[Norminal News @NorminalNews]

Ugh, why is the ketamine addict on the webcast 😒

[Norminal News @NorminalNews]

It's really depressing, you try and put all the bullshit of Elon aside and still take joy from Starship because it's objectively cool... only for the entire project to completely and utterly shit the bed.

🫠

[Norminal News @NorminalNews]

This programme is fucking cooked...

[NSF - NASASpaceflight.com @NASASpaceflight]

ANOMALY! Just before Ship 36 was set to Static Fire, it blew up at SpaceX Masseys!

Live on X and YT:
https://t.co/GPjZIX1Zyd

[Norminal News @NorminalNews]

We can't open a door but trust us we're totally departing for Mars next year...

[SpaceX @SpaceX]

The Road to Making Life Multiplanetary: an update from @elonmusk on SpaceX's plan to reach Mars

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@TheThirdEve @Alexphysics13 @premium Elon isn't gonna fuck you mate

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Lmfao they're watching an unofficial re-upload of their launch webcast on YouTube.

You know streaming exclusively on "X" is a joke when not even your own astronauts are willing to use it 😂

[Chun @satofishi]

The ride to orbit was much smoother than I had anticipated. Apart from the final minute before SECO, I barely felt any G-forces—it honestly felt like just another flight.

I had imagined it would feel like being in an elevator that suddenly drops, but that sensation never came. If I hadn’t set free Tyler, the polar bear zero-gravity indicator, I might not have realized we were already weightless. I think being tightly strapped into our seat buckets made the transition less noticeable.

The first few hours in microgravity weren’t exactly comfortable. Space motion sickness hit all of us—we felt nauseous and ended up vomiting a couple of times. It felt different from motion sickness in a car or at sea. You could still read on your iPad without making it worse. But even a small sip of water could upset your stomach and trigger vomiting.

Rabea spent some time on the ham radio, making contact with Berlin. No one asked opening the cupola on the first day—we were all focused on managing the motion sickness. We had a movie night watching our own launch and went to sleep a bit earlier than scheduled. We all slept really well.

By the second morning, I felt completely refreshed. The trace of motion sickness is all gone. We had breakfast, took a few X-ray images, and opened the cupola three minutes after midnight UTC—right above the South Pole.

Stay tuned.

[Norminal News @NorminalNews]

@KulikSteve @Erdayastronaut You sound fucking pathetic, get a grip

[Norminal News @NorminalNews]

Styled by Hugo Boss you know...

[John Kraus @johnkrausphotos]

What a sight on NASA TV right now - Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams have donned SpaceX spacesuits ahead of their return to Earth on board Dragon tomorrow. The duo launched aboard Starliner wearing Boeing spacesuits in June of last year.

Watch live: https://t.co/zk8bBhIekq

[Norminal News @NorminalNews]

Just a shower thought, is Starship flight 7/8 the first time SpaceX has failed to to better following a failure since they went orbital?

The only other example I can think of is Falcon 1 flight 2/3 where #2 failed during the S2 burn & #3 failed at stage sep.

Pretty wild if so.

[Norminal News @NorminalNews]

@joebarnard They should invent a rocket that reaches SECO

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@joebarnard It's because you weren't streaming Joe

[Norminal News @NorminalNews]

Oh no, I've been bookmarked‽ 😱😨

[Nautilus Guitars @GuitarsNautilus]

Dumb bitch is too poor to afford 8 dollars a month for his copium.

Your comments are a layer cake of hysterical, raging idiocy. Zero emotional regulation. Nothing substantive or meaningful. Just repeating talking points you've been force fed by serial liars, allowing yourself to be led by the leash into a pit of misery and despair on behalf of people who absolutely despise you. You're a useful idiot of a regime that will soon be completely indefensible. Even by the liars you admire.

I'll bookmark this to check in on you you in a few years time. Hopefully by then you'll have developed a mind of your own and the humility to admit your mistakes.

[Norminal News @NorminalNews]

@GuitarsNautilus @Erdayastronaut @raaaaausch Whomp whomp

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@GuitarsNautilus @Erdayastronaut @raaaaausch Dumb bitch pays a billionaire throwing Hitler salutes for his special Twitter checkmark 😂

[Norminal News @NorminalNews]

@Erdayastronaut @raaaaausch I sincerely hope you put your integrity above exclusive access to SpaceX.

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@Erdayastronaut @raaaaausch Now the Dear Moon bs is out of the way I hope you can properly distance yourself from Elon.

Continuing to enable the scumbag by normalising him through tours, interviews, etc at this point would be unacceptable.

I'd cancel my Patreon in a heartbeat.

[Norminal News @NorminalNews]

@onge42 @raaaaausch @Erdayastronaut Because he's a cunt