Hello Lola, I am a Muslim, and our spiritual tradition has a very deep approach to raising children. I want to share some tips from our scholars that will be beneficial to you regardless of your faith.
First of all, our theology teaches the concept of Fitrah. This means that every child is born with a pure heart. At six years old, she is not a criminal mastermind. She does not have a wicked soul.
If she doesn’t have all these, then what is happening? The truth is that she is just lacking impulse control and testing boundaries. By this, if you look at her as a manipulator, you will fight her. However, if you look at her as a pure soul making mistakes, you will be able to guide her.
Secondly, for every problem anyone faces today, it has been solved in history. The only problem is how to locate them.
A classical scholar named Al-Ghazali wrote about child psychology over 900 years ago in his famous book “Ihya Ulum al-Din.” In his section on disciplining children, he gave a practical rule I want you to adopt going forward.
He advised that parents should never push a child into a corner where they are forced to lie. When you ask a question you already know the answer to, her survival instinct kicks in. She cries and she lies to defend herself because she is scared of you. Stop interrogating her. Just look at her and state the fact. Say, I know you took this, and we are going to return it right now.
Again, another scholar and sociologist Ibn Khaldun addressed this exact behavior in his masterpiece titled: “Al-Muqaddimah.” He warned that when a child is raised with harsh punishment, they learn deceit, trickery, and lying to protect themselves. This is why she is covering her tracks and crying to manipulate you. The fear of a harsh reaction is making her a better liar.
Lola, do not attach a label to her. Do not ever call her a thief. If you attack her identity instead of her action, she will internalize it and grow into that dark label. Tell her the action is wrong but protect her dignity.
Make her return the item. Do not fall for the tears. Hold her hand, walk her back to wherever she took it from, and make her hand it back and apologize. The discomfort of returning a stolen item teaches a much better lesson than beating her will ever do.
Finally, I don’t know if you are a Muslim, but never underestimate the power of your own words. In our faith, we believe the prayer of a parent for a child goes straight to God without any barrier. Pray over her. Pray for her heart to be content and for her character to be straight.
Keep doing this consistently and the habit will break.
Allah knows best.
Assalamu Alaikum, My Brother and Siste.
On Saturday morning, January 10th, we were able to distribute zakat and sadaqah to 63 people. All receipt reports are available in the community.
Join the community and get help
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If your phone charging connector is a USB Type-C, you need this information before you plug your cord to random charging outlets next time.
If anyone carrying a block that looks like a ‘power bank’ asks you to unlock your phone and help them confirm if their type C charger is working (they’d lie that it’s not charging their phone), please DONT DO IT.
The new scam in town is they use the tech device (that has the look of a power bank) to clone all your files (photos, videos, chats etc). Their aim is to basically clone your phone with the device, with future intent to use it to blackmail you or steal from you. However, the scam won’t work unless you unlock your phone. Unlocking gives the device the access they need to transfer your files.
Why am I sharing this information? We are currently handling a case like that with the police. A guy invited a lady he met online for a movie date, during the movie, he told the lady that his USB Type C cord is not charging his phone and asked if he could try the charger on her phone. The innocent, unsuspecting lady unlocked the phone for the guy, and continued with the movie. About 5min later, the guy passed the Lady’s phone back to her saying he forgot and they moved on. Few days after the date, the guy began blackmailing the lady with private files from her phone that even her couldn’t remember she still had them.
Henceforth, before you connect your USB Type C to a ‘power bank’ or ‘charging outlets’ without your adapter (charging brick) please ensure you set your phone to not charge unless unlocked. Or better still, get your own powerbank.
Just Saw A Tweet Of Where Someone Tweeted About Our Friends That Passed Away During Our Young Age.
Then I Remembered Shoetan Olamiposi R.I.P 🕊️.
Dude Came To School In Full Uniform , Unknown To Me He Had Died The Night Before.
We Chatted, Played And All. Only For His Dad To Arrive School During Break Time To Inform Us All About His Demise.
We Searched All School For Him, Dude Was Nowhere To Be Found Again. 😳.
No Sickness, Nothing.
I Miss Him So Much That I Had To Give A S/O To Him After My Breakout In One Of My Tracks Titled (Story).
I Hope And Pray His Family Has Been Holding On Tight Ever Since, Cos Dude Was So Promising.
R.I.P Olamiposi Shoetan 💔🕊️
They Lived In Iya Rere’s House (Kamoru Alimi Street, Off Sebiotimo Street, Idi Mangoro Agege).
I Didn’t Step Foot In That House Ever Since🤦🏾♂️ (Was So Scared).
I Pray His Shortcomings Are Forgiven🙏🏿
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