Definitely not a fish

Hello yes me human, I love fish and other human things like breadcrumbs. Nothing to do with @SirSmithLAD

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

When my home buoys be sad I hit them up like:
#SalmonCannon #FishTube

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

#TomorrowGoingToBeSoHotThat ya boys are gonna fry 🥵🐟#ReturnOfTheKing

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

I Hate valentine's day
New suit: £200
Dinner: £50
Aquarium tickets: £10
Look on your face when she leaves you for a fish: Priceless

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

Can't blame Jimmy for what he did in that situation, I myself would hate to get battered #tedxrcssd

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

Please stop Shagger trending and respect my privacy, what I do in my own time is up to me #ReelingThemIn

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

Can you lot keep it down up there with your “happy 2021” waffle, am trying to sleep

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

Going to have to be honest here, even I’m confused here but it is bloody fun being a fish, not that I’d know... Because obviously im a human...

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

Imagine having to have a second lockdown, you stupid lung having bitches #SecondLockdown

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

At least leave a beer on the ring when you throw it in the sea. Can’t wait to get mashed and batter the misses. #BeerBattered

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

.@McVities #PenguinJokes #StopPenguins Care to explain this joke, you cold hearted pricks?

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

@WoolwichPigeon Preach brother, the ocean squad is behind you. #RecycleYourselfGreta

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

@WoolwichPigeon Square up you little wing having bitch

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

@hannahxstevens Honestly what a whole bass mood

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

#SongsAndMoviesOnCycles Frame Dory... Which is exactly what Uncle Dez did to his first wife #FreeDory

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

Just see #theinbetweeners trending, absolutely shitting it. #RipUncleNev

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

To be fair to the lads I AM NOT A MAN either #HydePark

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

Just made a depressing discovery... #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

Stay moist? I bloody will.

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

Stupid air-breathing-lung-having bitch asses #COVID2019

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

#StayAwayFromPeopleWho Drive boats that look like this #RIPUncleMike

[Definitely not a fish @NotAFishHonest]

My ex-wife Susan #ThingsIUsedToLikeButDontNow