Not Mr. Villas-Boas

I have come to London looking for trophies galore! I've looked behind the sofa, but so far, I have not found any. Please let me know if you see one.

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

What on earth? Now I'm being compared to Dr Who: https://t.co/u7ZR4Ak7fS

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *pause* Bwahahahaha. *sigh* *giggle* Aaah.

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

...anyone got a spare room in N17?

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

I've love to go to #LFC. I could start using my website again! http://t.co/sMDSjR83

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

Free to a good home: lots of Chelsea merchandise. Slightly worn. Collect from SW6.

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

@rahulsj92 Oh, I forgot about that. I've been busy packing, y'know? :)

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

It's been real people.

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

What's this P45 thing I keep hearing about?

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

One can relate to this: http://t.co/fs9Gc8om

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

Terry is like chocolate in Neapolitan icecream: the first to go. Torres like Strawberry: always there sitting in the freezer. Or the bench.

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

Watching Arsenal v AC Milan in the last 16 of Champions League. I wonder if we'll make it to the last 16 of the Europa League next year...

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

My decision to play Lampard and bench Torres was based on this video: http://t.co/VludfEf1

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

Why would we sell Torres? The benches ain't going to warm themselves.

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

I can't believe Balotelli didn't have the common courtesy to celebrate with the Chelsea bench.

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

@youarelump I'll have you know my nails are immacuately maintained, not a bite mark in sight!

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

@chelseamatt I hope you watch Monday night, I'm upgrading Cech to Darth Vader!

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

A 4-1 drubbing is just the kind of result I'd expect from a Europa League level side.

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

Oranges at half time in the dressing room! We're going to top the group at this rate. What could possibly go wrong?

[Not Mr. Villas-Boas @NotAVillasBoas]

That's some orange juice with a shot of Stolichnaya for Roman. And one for me too. Phew.

[David Talbot @DaveTalbot]

Bad news Chelsea fans, I'm the 10yr old kid controlling Luiz via a playstation controller and I am supporting Valencia tonight #bbcfootball