Emma

“Oh no! Not another mother going comedian.” No not really, I’m just talking about life as I see it. Taking it one day at the time, with my two small boys.

[Average Dad @Average_Dad1]

Kids will be like “let’s play hide and seek!”, look for you for five seconds and then get bored, start playing hot wheels or some other crap and leave you contorted up in the laundry room

[That Mom Tho @mom_tho]

after ten years of marriage, two kids, I can still fit into my wedding...shoes 🤣

[Koala: Fied to Party @ItsKoalaTeaTime]

The world: ok so we are all doing metric and it’s going to work perfectly.

USA: ...

World: right?

USA: ...

World: RIGHT?

USA: *whispers* I’m really into feet you guys

[Emma @notanothermum]

2 y/o didn’t eat his dinner and was told he can’t have anything else before bedtime.
2 y/o: me have milk please?
His dad: yes sure!
2 y/o: In my rice bubbles!

[Emma @notanothermum]

Imitation is the purest form of getting on mummy’s very last nerve!

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

Ok it starts at 9 so we need to be there by 8:45 which means we need to leave by 8:10 so we need to have breakfast by...and be ready by... which means we need to wake up at....

Shoutout to parents doing that backwards math this weekend

[Emma @notanothermum]

If my husband left me for a younger woman I’d first cry and then I’d send her hate mail: a cardboard box full of his unsorted, almost identical, but slightly different black socks.

[Emma @notanothermum]

I just had a sip out of my toddlers water cup, so I guess that was my 1850 calories for today.

[Emma @notanothermum]

A measure of how good a cook I am: my children’s favourite food is sandwich bread, frozen, with no spreads or toppings.