Not Beckett

registered sex defender

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

People really do look like their dogs

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

Gonna name my kid Brodie so I can call him “bro” #highIQ

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

Only miss the snow when it starts to sun #truth

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

Messi’s really about to have another 100 goal season now

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

“Rosa parks is my kind of chick” -religious channel guy #respect

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

“Just remember I can turn you back into a homo sapien” -Gandhi

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

Might just bone the world and call the baby “earth”

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

There’s no one word that could describe how I’m feeling right now #feelings #are #gay

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

Might just have to make out with my barber #hideyourwives

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

“Yo bro so like how old is ur mom?” -me

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

I think I broke my knuck #pain

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

What evolutionary mechanism causes me to get the most intense adrenaline rush when I see a shiny rock? #QuestionOfTheDay

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

When your dog won’t stop barking at your attic door, but then you realize you don’t have a dog or an attic. #woah #freakyfriday

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

Took my pump cover off and saw other people put their pump cover back on #crazypump #bodypositivitymovement

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

Your dentist tells you to floss more often; mine tells me to floss less. We are not the same #dentalschool #floss

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

Might just drop everything and go pro in Pokémon #charmeleon #Pikachurmom

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

It’s crazy how planes are just motorized birds #birds #planes

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

Pump so juicy that people are probably assuming I got cheated on #pump #assumption

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

I swear I might just kiss you right now bro #notgay

[Not Beckett @NotBeckettJ]

My goal in life is to look like as much of a d-bag as possible but then surprise people by being a good guy #goal