Not Shehbaz Sharif

Satire/Parody - The selected Prime Minister of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

The nation should not be angry with my decision to allocate Rs. 152 million for the Prime Minister's Office. The money is being spent for a good cause.

We are adding a spa for visiting foreign dignitaries, offering highly specialised footwear care and boot-polishing treatments.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

I am saddened by Sir Keir Starmer's resignation. Personally, I cannot relate. In Pakistan, resigning after poor performance would set a dangerous precedent.

I was selected rather than elected, which means I have been blessed with far greater job security.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

@MarioNawfal I'm just worried about my seat.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

I am pleased to announce that, due to my tireless polishing, the United States and Iran have agreed to continue talks until someone in Washington says something unnecessary.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

Sir, I humbly request that you ask President Trump to ensure Israel complies with the agreed conditions.

I have just reduced petrol prices by Rs74 and would prefer not to raise them to 400.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

The Iranian delegation has walked out of talks following President Trump’s threats of bombing Iran.

I respectfully suggest he redirect that energy toward asking Israel to withdraw from Lebanese territory and respect its sovereignty.

I will now have to raise petrol by Rs74.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

Interacted with the media ahead of the US-Iran technical talks at Bürgenstock.

My contribution consisted of smiling for photographs and a lot of boot polishing. I hope a deal is reached so I can further cut petrol prices and claim credit for world peace.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

Couldn't be me.

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

BREAKING: British Prime Minster Keir Starmer expected to resign on Monday, per the Globe and Mail

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

@pmln_org Vacation*

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

Departing for Burgenstock, Switzerland for a much needed vacation.

Might participate in US-Iran technical talks.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

@CMShehbaz @GovtofPakistan The ceasefire is falling apart and I'm back to my duty of making phone calls and offering felicitations.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

الحمدللہ! امریکہ ایران امن معاہدے کے بعد، میں نے ایک ہفتے کے لیے پیٹرول 74 روپے اور ڈیزل 67 روپے فی لیٹر سستا کرنے کا فیصلہ کیا ہے۔

یہ ریلیف صرف ایک ہفتے کے لیے ہے۔ اس کے بعد قیمتیں دوبارہ 400 روپے فی لیٹر تک جا سکتی ہیں۔ میری قوم سے گزارش ہے کہ موقع سے بھرپور فائدہ اٹھائیں۔

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

Israel must withdraw from Lebanese territory and respect Lebanon's sovereignty and territorial integrity.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

I've just been snubbed by President Trump.

Didn’t even get an invite to Switzerland, so I had to come up with an excuse to cancel my trip and delete my tweets.

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

President Donald J. Trump signs the Iran Memorandum of Understanding.

Peace through strength.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

@cyalm I just wasn't invited.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

Iran has won!

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Iran never won a war, but never lost a negotiation!

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

@SdqJaan جی بالکل۔ آخر ٹیکس دہندگان کے پیسے ضائع کرنے کا کوئی نہ کوئی بہانہ تو چاہیے۔

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

@CMShehbaz I spent many nights on my knees shining shoes for this to happen. Visionary.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

@CMShehbaz I had to shine a lot of shoes to get here. I offer my felicitations to the nation on this historic signing.

[Not Shehbaz Sharif @NotCMShehbaz]

I am honoured to announce that the historic ‘Islamabad Memorandum of Understanding’ has been electronically signed today between the United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran.

This couldn't have happened without my shining skills.