Chris

things what I done and typed

[Lucy Fisher @LOS_Fisher]

My daughter is about to see her fifth prime minister... and she's three 🫠

[Doinkadect Klomberbatch @Doinkadect]

Is this the first time the UK’s been looking for a new Prime Minister, James Bond and Doctor Who at the same time

[ed @erar97]

The line of Prime Ministers at Remembrance Day (2030)

[Politics UK @PolitlcsUK]

🚨 NEW: Labour members voting intention:

Starmer vs Streeting:
Starmer: 53%
Streeting: 23%

Starmer vs Burnham:
Burnham: 61%
Starmer: 28%

Starmer vs Miliband:
Miliband: 46%
Starmer: 39%

Starmer vs Rayner:
Rayner: 45%
Starmer: 41%

Via @LabourList, 1214 members

[Chris @NotChrisBall]

DUDE, WE'RE GETTING THE MILI-BAND BACK TOGETHER

[Steven Swinford @Steven_Swinford]

EXCLUSIVE:

Ed Miliband has told Cabinet ministers that he is prepared to run for the Labour leadership if Wes Streeting triggers an imminent contest, The Times has been told

The former Labour leader is understood to back Andy Burnham as Keir Starmer's successor if he is forced out of Number 10 in the wake of a mass revolt by Labour MP

Miliband has previously told friends that he does not want the Labour leadership and is viewed as a potential "Kingmaker" for a Burnham premiership

However the speed of the revolt by Labour MPs - more than 90 backbenchers, government aides and ministers have now gone public - has changed that assessment

Two senior government sources said Miliband told cabinet colleagues he would be prepared to stand as the soft-left's candidate to stop Streeting from getting into Number 10

The claim was categorically denied by Miliband. A source close to the energy secretary said: "This is mischief making- it is categorically untrue that Ed told Cabinet colleagues that he was preparing to stand in case of a contest."

https://t.co/WnZLvlRYro

[Chris @NotChrisBall]

This was not on my 2026 bingo card

[Metro @MetroUK]

Sarah Ferguson had ‘friends with benefits’ relationship with disgraced rapper Diddy https://t.co/vL10l8cP8G

[Chris @NotChrisBall]

WHO STILL LIKES ANDREW

[YouGov @YouGov]

Today marks what would have been Queen Elizabeth II's 100th birthday, and our latest poll shows she remains the most popular member of the royal family

Queen Elizabeth II: 81% positive view
Princess Diana: 77%
Prince William: 76%
Kate Middleton: 75%
Princess Anne: 70%
King Charles: 60%
Prince Philip: 54%
Prince Edward: 53%
Queen Camilla: 42%
Prince Harry: 30%
Meghan Markle: 20%
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor: 3%

Results link in replies

[Chris @NotChrisBall]

"independent researcher" and "not yet peer reviewed" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here

[Insider Paper @TheInsiderPaper]

The Giza pyramids could be as much as 12,000 years old and built by a lost advanced civilisation, according to independent researcher António Ambrósio from the Autonomous University of Barcelona.

In a paper that has not yet been peer-reviewed, he claims the pyramids were built thousands of years before ancient Egypt and were later taken over by Egyptians, who said they were tombs of Khufu, Khafre and Menkaure—even though no royal mummies or burial items were found inside.

He says the pyramids’ extremely precise stonework, almost perfectly flat base and alignment with the stars show a level of engineering that later Egyptian pyramids, built between 2500 BC and 2150 BC, did not match, suggesting they were created by a forgotten “supercivilisation.”

[🇨🇭🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿InLucysHead🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇨🇭© @InsideLucysHead]

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England...

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss.

Their anguish was so great that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as ...

Sinko de Mayo.

[James Heale @JAHeale]

“There are three ways to make a living in this business: be first, be smarter or email Peter Mandelson”

[Dr Bakare Omolara @dr_olayideh]

HISTORY OF HIV/AIDS

Long before HIV was known to medicine, before microscopes could identify it or blood tests could detect it, the virus existed quietly in the forests of Central Africa.

In the late 1800s or early 1900s, a hunter moved through dense rainforest, doing what humans in that region had done for generations; hunting primates for food.

One animal, a chimpanzee, carried a virus called Simian Immunodeficiency Virus (SIV). In the chimp, the virus caused little harm. In humans, it had never been tested by nature.

As the hunter butchered the animal,a small cut on his hand that seemed unremarkable, and easily ignored, became the gateway.
In that brief moment, infected blood crossed the species barrier. The virus entered a human body for the first time.

Inside its new host, the virus struggled. Human immune cells were unfamiliar territory. Most viruses would have failed here and disappeared forever. But this one changed.
Through random mutation and survival, it adapted by learning how to attach to CD4 T-cells, learning how to replicate, learning how to persist.

The man survived. He did not know he carried a new virus. He returned to his community, lived his life, and unknowingly passed the virus to others through blood, sexual contact, or childbirth.
Slowly, silently, the virus spread.

Years passed. Small villages grew into towns. Trade routes expanded along the Congo River. Medical injections were given with reused needles.
What began as a single spillover event became a human infection chain.

Decades later, this adapted virus had a new identity: Human Immunodeficiency Virus—HIV.

By the time doctors recognized it in the 1980s, the virus had already been circulating in humans for generations. It had not appeared suddenly. It had arrived quietly, evolved patiently, and spread invisibly.

This is how pandemics often begin not with intention or conspiracy, but with biology, chance, and time.

[Brian Graham 🦬 @iroasmas]

oh Lord, into your hands i relinquish this circus and these monkeys

[Chris @NotChrisBall]

And be gay
Super gay

[TheRealThelmaJohnson @TheRealThelmaJ1]

Ernst Röhm, leader of Hitler's Brownshirts, showed how to build an authoritarian paramilitary: recruit men selected for their propensity for violence and absolute loyalty to a leader, then grant them legal immunity, a free hand to terrorize opponents, and pay far better than they could earn elsewhere.

This formula helped propel the Nazis to power. This is ICE.

[Chris @NotChrisBall]

So what was it about Venezuela that first attracted you to it Donald?

[Chris @NotChrisBall]

Have had to stop making nonce jokes about my mate
They're getting a bit old and he's lost interest

[Chris @NotChrisBall]

Who the fuck posts this at Christmas

[Simons @Simon_Ingari]

2022: No salary increase
2023: No salary increase
2024: No salary increase
2025: No salary increase

2026 :
Employee: Please accept my resignation.
Boss: You’re doing great. Why are you resigning?

Employee: I accepted an offer with a 95% base salary increase and guaranteed yearly salary cycles as long as I meet my performance goals set by my manager.

48 hours later...

Boss: We will match the 95%, please stay, we need your work!
Employee: Unfortunately, it’s too late. Friday is my last day.

Leaders of organizations need to understand their teams’ motivation every month. Every employee is motivated by different things in different periods. Take care of your good employees before it is too late