Cory Anderson

certified indoor boy

[Dom Italiano @itsdomyoutube]

If I throw a pick into triple coverage and a subway ad pops up for a ham and cheese sandwich i'll light my xbox on fire

[𝐂𝐉 🕸️ @popipo8_8]

Genuinely how Justin Gaethje did this nigga Ilia Topuria 😭😭😭😭😭

[larn @sodoesfear]

Brit’s, explaining their food: so, it’s not supposed to taste good at all

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

Just the beginning of a legendary night at the People’s House. 📸🇺🇸

[Master Cheeks @WiggerMaggot]

How did it go from this to Nicki Minaj skins?

[Freddy🇩🇪 @FreddyLA7]

Our room for the coming days in Houston. I don’t even know what to say about this. This is just unreal. No words.

Huge huge thank you to JJ Watt for giving me and my friends the opportunity to stay at a place like this🙏🙏🙏

[𝓔𝓶 ♡ @emkenobi]

Your boyfriend is trying to give you a five-course meal after you gave him vomit on a plate.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A breakfast counter. The waitress recommended the biscuits and gravy, and when the plate arrived, I thought something had gone wrong in the kitchen.

I say this with shame. The dish looked like a construction site after rain. Pale mounds. Gray ladle-fall. Speckles I could not identify.

In my land, the eye eats first. A meal is arranged like a garden. This meal was arranged like weather.

"Is it… finished?" I asked, carefully.

"Honey, that's what it looks like."

The man beside me was already eating his. He did not look up. "Just try it."

I am a man who has charged hillsides at dawn. I raised the fork. I tried it.

I must now formally apologize to the biscuits, the gravy, the waitress, the kitchen, and the entire breakfast tradition of the American South.

It was magnificent. Warm. Peppered. The biscuit drank the gravy the way a field drinks rain — THAT is why it is shaped like that, you fool — and every mound I had insulted was a soft fold of comfort that my homeland, in eight hundred years, never once thought to invent.

"Well?" the waitress asked.

"I judged it," I confessed. "By its appearance. I am ashamed."

"Everybody does, hon."

Everybody does. A national dish that forgives you for doubting it. It expects the doubt. It waits for you on the other side of it.

Do not judge the gravy by its face. Judge yourself, for hesitating.

I order it every Saturday now. I no longer see the construction site. I see only the garden.

It was a garden the whole time. The eye must be trained.

[🦆 B1G Duck Energy 🦆 @B1GDuckEnergyy]

4-1 USA

WHY? FUCK YOU THAT’S WHY

BELT TO ASS

THE WORLD WILL KNOW SOCCER

[Janty @CFC_Janty]

The auto translated tweets is exactly what we needed for the World Cup

[👣ℙ𝕖𝕕𝕣𝕠'𝕤 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕖🇺🇲 @OfAthenry]

@RmSalih Didn't ask.
Don't care.

[Gonsanlo @Gonsanlo_]

Son divinos estos tipos, viven en pedo y pasan la birra como si fuera agua. Y para sumar, detestan a los ingleses.
Escocia top país en mis libros.

[Swig 🇺🇸 @OldRowSwig]

You know what, HELL YEAH.

[Wu Tang is for the Children @WUTangKids]

Sir….the Japanese World Cup tourists discovered Texas Roadhouse and are calling it the "best cost-performance steak"

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[ol’ stocky ⛳️ @oldstocky]

I can understand why Italians saw this and decided to invent unemployment

[amanda @jailedamanda]

Actually laughed out loud I fear

[Kyron Samuels @kyronsamuels]

swag surf got buddy levitating i’m in tears.

[Daniel Simpson @DSimpson88]

Genuinely, all these tweets of World Cup visitors getting to experience the best of Small Town, USA fills me with a national pride that’s been on holiday lately

[US Soccer Feed @ussoccerfeed]

Wait till we break out the Dorito looking ones for the final.