Not Fat Jack

This is not actually the former Head Coach of Missouri State Swimming and Diving. If he knew how to use Twitter, this might be what he would say.

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

That's twice, EMU. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, use explosive tipped arrows. Worked for Rambo. Back to the archery range.

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

I've been saying it for forty years. Once again, my prophecy comes true: IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THE LAST RELAY!!! LETS GO!!! #MACtion #GOBEARS

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

Ordinarily I like my buffalo medium-rare. Tonight though, I'm opting for bloody. #MACtion #GOBEARS Finish the job, fellas.

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

Eastern, I promised you last year, I would practice my archery. You were already endangered. I'm here to finish the job. #MACtion #GOBEARS

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

In case anyone was curious about my thoughts for any non-Bears at tomorrow's #MACtion - https://t.co/JJbcGavQpp #GOBEARS

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

What in the hell's going on?!! What is that awful smell you've discovered, Russell?!! Oh...it's Carbondale. #GOBEARS

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

Really appreciate @BIGdaveMO for giving me the opportunity to coach the men's team today. I have a lot of wisdom to share!

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

#BEARSONAWARPATH https://t.co/O7xA6CA7lA

[Missouri State Swimming & Diving @MoStateSwim]

At the end of day two, MSU holds the lead with 296.5 points! SIU sits second (235) and UNI is in third (233).

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

Newsflash: dog abuse claims filed against bears after this weekend #Salukisfordinner

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

What? Oh, this fence? No, it's sturdy. Bear's honor. Come closer, I'll show you. #hungrybear

[Phillip Willett @PhillyMyWilly]

Missouri State Swimming's season kicks off today at Mizzou! Let's get it!! #Hype #ShowMeShowdown

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

@BIGdaveMO @MoStateSwim Up early from summer hibernation. Gonna disguise Russell as a therapy dog through customs. #Rio2016 #GOBEARS

[Missouri State Swimming & Diving @MoStateSwim]

2017 Recruits! Did you know that one of our women has won MVC Swimmer of the Meet every year since 2012? #2017🐻🏊

[Missouri State Swimming & Diving @MoStateSwim]

Attention all swimmers!! Uvis has an important message for you! #ArenaProSwim

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

#GOBEARS https://t.co/FLiVMuNnLC

[Missouri State Swimming & Diving @MoStateSwim]

Artur Osvath sets another personal-best time! He comes in at 53.75 for the fastest time in his heat of the 100 breast prelims! #NCAASwimDive

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

You win this round Eagles. Practicing archery for next year. Flaming arrows worked for Costner. #ripyourheartoutwithaspoon #GOBEARS #MACtion

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

Bears, it's Sunday, I'm partying. Preacher said it was cool. Anyone not wearing maroon and white gets a Molotov cocktail. #GOBEARS #MACtion

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

@SIU_SwimDive If my dog was as ugly as you...wait, sorry my bear's ass is better looking. #sandlotjokes #legendsneverdie #GOBEARS

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

That "12 year old" Little League World Series player? Saluki. Look it up. Filthy history of Carbondale. #notfatjackfacts #GOBEARS #MACtion

[Not Fat Jack @NotFatJack]

Salukis resembling the United Nations. Methinks they may have a few "22" year olds. Cuban baseball players think you're gaming the system.