Not Hans Backe

I like to write Ali Curtis fan fiction in my spare time. Created and operated by @SoccerByIves. I would say, obviously a parody account, in a way.

[Not Hans Backe @NotHansBacke]

The only thing heavier than Mathias Jørgensen’s first touch is your mom. #RBNY

[Not Hans Backe @NotHansBacke]

Tbh the MLS Cup Playoffs are really just the Fyre Fest of the MLS season

[Not Hans Backe @NotHansBacke]

*Chris Armas buying a used car*

Dealer: Alright Chris, it’s a 2017, 10,000 miles, full warranty, one owner, no issues, no dents/scratches, Carfax & title are clean, and we’ll even throw in a discount.

Chris Armas: Sounds good but I’m still going to replace the engine.

[windsurfing with Sting in Montserrat, RA AIA @alexjs85]

The Yankees are gonna play in a soccer stadium before nycfc does #rbny https://t.co/54bRQT5AK2

[Not Hans Backe @NotHansBacke]

If Tommy Redding is the sacrifice we need for Champions League glory, then I’m OK with that.

[James Milner @JamesMilner]

#TBT to yesterday.... when I wasn't on Twitter! 👋🏻

[Not Hans Backe @NotHansBacke]

The only thing more beautiful than that set up, and goal, is Mehdi Ballouchy.

[Not Hans Backe @NotHansBacke]

Can't wait to see Chinese Super League teams start bidding $25M for the likes of Aurelien Collin now.

https://t.co/TUHAXD04or

[MLS Communications @MLS_PR]

MLS and China Sports Media announce partnership to live stream MLS matches in Mainland China https://t.co/6JU5aKqeWR

[canchon @canchon]

@NotHansBacke But can Kaku play cynical soccer??

[Not Hans Backe @NotHansBacke]

I haven’t seen this much excitement by #RBNY about an attacking South American playmaker since Jorge Rojas. Even if he’s only half the player of the left-wing god.

[Not Hans Backe @NotHansBacke]

The Eagles won a Super Bowl before #RBNY signed Kaku.

[Ja Rule @jarule]

Fun hip hop FACT: @50cent is PUSSY...

[Bobby Boswell @bobbyboswell]

Last one

Jonathon Gonzalez: "did you see all the attention I got with my announcement this week?"

Landon Donovan: "Sostenga mi cerveza!"

[Not Hans Backe @NotHansBacke]

We’ve been listening to you #RBNY, for years, and there were certain restrictions that we can’t legally say, but this red kit is for you. Our loyal fans. Who are here for us, every single day. Red Together...

...We also sold Sacha to Orlando for a combined $7.28 in GAM & TAM.

[Not Hans Backe @NotHansBacke]

The biggest travesty for @USSoccer in 2017 wasn’t missing the WC, but having the system somehow get Allen Chapman to ref the #MLSCup final.

[Not Hans Backe @NotHansBacke]

Pretty excited for Jesse Marsch to get working on his UEFA badges this offseason now tho

[Not Hans Backe @NotHansBacke]

@ussoccer That coach has supported more #USMNT players in 10 seconds than Klinsmann in 6 years. https://t.co/vTx1PXaQ02

[Not Hans Backe @NotHansBacke]

Not looking forward reading week after week every #RBNY player tweet how next game they'll *finally* get it right, in 280 characters now.