I think what's happening is a defense mechanism. If a friend confesses to you, but you didn't feel initial sparks so you just 'became friends' then it feels like they're trying to bypass physical attraction with comfort.
All this "friend asked me out" discourse has inevitably led me to the conclusion that (at least a large cohort of) women don't understand the concept of liking someone for their personality
@lumeysea "the aversion many guys seem to have to asking questions about/ actively being interested" <- the word 'many' is doing a lot of work. People have a large variety of dispositions. My answer: people naturally vary in their level of interest