kate

[kate @NotKateByrne]

Me: It’s just that the show was a comedy so why did they feel the need to end The Golden Girls on such a sad note, you know?
Humans of New York Camera Guy: Uh, I stopped filming 4 hours ago.

[kate @NotKateByrne]

Happy 250th birthday, Clifton Heights! 🇺🇸

[shitposter emeritus (on sabbatical) @jazzghost_pm]

Beautiful day outside. Probably a top 10 summer afternoon. Yes, doesn't get much better than this. I'm gonna watch 3 movies in a row in my apartment with the lights off

[𝓲𝓬𝓮 @be_like_ice]

Having a cat is fun because it's like a little mountain goat in your house. Oh, hello you're on the fridge.

[kate @NotKateByrne]

@brooke_byrne Hulu sends me into a blind rage every time

[jess @thejessbarton]

i don’t know what to do about hacks ending does anyone know what to do about hacks ending

[kate @NotKateByrne]

“I have a thing called Iran and other things.” - my new excuse for getting out of plans

[Acyn @Acyn]

Reporter: Are you attending your son’s wedding?

Trump: He’d like me to go. I’m going to try. I said, this is not good timing for me. I have a thing called Iran and other things. He’s a person I’ve known for a long time.

[kate @NotKateByrne]

My parents got one cool kid and one who knows Doris Day’s entire discography.

[kate @NotKateByrne]

I volunteer to swaddle Robby

[ihavecripplingdepression @notinterextinq]

#thepittspoilers

OH OKAY SO THIS IS HAPPENING

[brooke byrne @brooke_byrne]

Go phils

[brooke byrne @brooke_byrne]

“I’ve made some empty promises in my life, but hands down, that was the most generous.”

[cumweiser @cumweiser]

i think i could responsibly pick up an opioid habit

[kate @NotKateByrne]

The pharmacist: Do you know what happens if you take Xanax and ambien together?

Me: yeah a good time.

The pharmacist: what?

Me: what?

[kate @NotKateByrne]

@Ianmurray7 She sent this to me because she knew I’d be the only one who would be impressed

[kate @NotKateByrne]

in have yourself a merry little christmas, it’s a coward’s move when singers change “until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow” to “hang a shining star upon the highest bough”

[🦢 @meishato]

“you’re so funny” thanks i would have been lobotomized in the 1940s

[kate @NotKateByrne]

one thing I love about both the stage and screen adaptations of wicked is that neither of them bother to explain what the time dragon clock even is.

[Katya @oceanbullock]

a malpractice lawsuit wasn’t enough, she should’ve been allowed to commit murder imo