Not Kyle Tucker, man

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

Oh hey sir, I'm just holding this door open for my health. There's no rush. And please keep dragging that walker, love that scraping sound.

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

I asked Tyran Stokes why he kept laughing at Mark Pope Tuesday night. Apparently during his recruitment, Pope had been bamboozled by a prank caller, that stated Stokes was requesting $8,000.00 in Best Buy gift cards.

Pope showed up to the airport with them in a ziplock bag. OOF

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander reaches 126 straight games of 20 points or more.

Bam Adebayo drops 83(!!) in a game.

HUGE week for former Razorbacks.

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

Wowza. Louisville just picked up a commitment from 43 year old Gilbert Arenas. The father of 4 hasn’t played competitive basketball since the first Obama administration, but Kelsey thinks Agent Zero may be the missing piece. Will join the cards pending results of a colonoscopy

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

Of note, this is Texas A&M Commerces largest lead since they defeated Texas A&M Planning & Zoning this past February. Oof

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

Whoa. Deion has only coached 3 games in Boulder, but today he has accomplished something no other Colorado coach has done in almost 30 years: solved the Jon Benét Ramsey case. This weekend in @TheAthletic

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

Oh boy. Hearing the issue with Big Z being admitted to UK has to do with his application form. Under the tab that says “Sex” he wrote in “yes please” and then drew a picture of a dog with a comically large phallus. Yikes.

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

According to a spokesman for Chris Livingston, Cal sat Chris down in his office and told him, “Chris, you can leave and make your family rich or you can stay and make my family rrrr ah screw it do whatever you want who cares the sun is gonna explode one day anyway”. Yikes.

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

Fully Dickinson. Yowza.

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

Kentucky’s walk-ons are finally getting some minutes as Bruce Pearl is stress-eating his second Hunt Brothers pizza of the half. Mercy.

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

@KyleTucker_ATH @Porter_JDP

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

UK fans needn’t worry about Cal to Texas. Per phone conversation just now with AD Mitch Barnhart, the UK coach has locked in a CONSECUTIVE lifetime contract. Once Cal is legally dead, he will remain as coach until his spirit life ends, or the rapture (whichever comes first)

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

Whoa. Just saw Vince Marrow applying at the new Chick Fil A in Brentwood. I expect him to be a serious contender for branch manager. My pleasure?

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

It’s happening

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

@JDrumUK @KyleTucker_ATH Oh, Ugonna enjoy it.

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

A name to watch out for should Bruiser Flint get the Fordham gig: local lumber magnate Joe Palumbo. Been tight with Cal since his early days at Kentucky.

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

@mimiksullivan Freaking Karen. Of course.

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

Yikes. Just got word that not only did Cal pre-record his radio show, he did it while watching the new “Batman” flick at the Movie Tavern at Brannon Crossing. Not. A. Good. Look.

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

Whoa. Just asked Coach K what the first thing he’s going to do after his final game at Cameron Indoor. His answer?
“2 chicks at the same time.”
Mama. Mia.

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

Sheedon Sharpe now has his warmup pants back on, but is completely topless and eating a bag of Funyons. Not sure if we’ll see him tonight, but it’s been quite the show nonetheless.

[Not Kyle Tucker, man @NotKyleTuckerCJ]

So, what’s the protocol when the family labradoodle viciously attacks the elf on the shelf, pulls its head off, then proceeds to “make passionate love” to it in front of a couple of shocked and mortified children? Asking for a friend.