LemonsNotLemonade

Came for the blah blah blah, joke joke joke, commentary

[LemonsNotLemonade @NotLemonz]

@ask_aubry And then, he’ll fucking cheat on her and the boymom will blame her.

[LemonsNotLemonade @NotLemonz]

I’ve never felt more seen.

[latke @latkedelrey]

do you ever get a headache so bad that you kind of understand why people 6,000 years ago saw merit in the idea of drilling holes in their skulls

[Dadman Standing @dadmann_walking]

OMG that was only Monday?

[Mediocre Mom @MediocreMamaa]

One thing about parenthood that nobody prepared me for was how stressed I’d get watching my kid mix two freshly opened cans of Play Doh together.

[Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere]

Field trips shouldn’t stop after you graduate. I feel like if a bunch of buses pulled up to your job once every few weeks and your boss was like “we’re going to the planetarium and lunch is provided and your friends are all coming too” that would make life so so much better.

[Heatherhere 👽 @Heatinblack]

Me at 3am: *trying to fall back to sleep*

My body: you’re not the boss of me

[LemonsNotLemonade @NotLemonz]

@reallifemommy3 Have you counted all your kids yet? ( Probably just the garage door…)

[LemonsNotLemonade @NotLemonz]

Love this! Happy podiverary @CrimeJunkiePod

[Crime Junkie Podcast @CrimeJunkiePod]

In honor of our 6 year pod anniversary, we're reflecting on the stories & characters that made us Crime Junkies in the first place! How did you first become a Crime Junkie? 🕵️‍♀️

[Mediocre Mom @MediocreMamaa]

‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring…

…..except for all the neighborhood dads putting their trash bins out extra early this week because they’ll be damned if they miss trash day and have a full bin on Christmas morning.

[Keara Sullivan @superkeara]

If u ever think ur stupid just know that one time a guy asked me what my “attachment style” was and I didn’t know what that meant so I said “PDF if it’s over email I hate when people send it as a word doc”

[LemonsNotLemonade @NotLemonz]

Always

[Mediocre Mom @MediocreMamaa]

I’m in the kitchen baking for Thanksgiving, so naturally my kids have decided to build a fort in here and my husband is helping by standing in front of the stove.

[Shafeeq @Y2SHAF]

2 unskippable ads

[Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy]

My wife and I wanted to go to a movie but it didn't start until 4:30PM, so we'll try another day when we won't be out all night.

[LemonsNotLemonade @NotLemonz]

That tracks 😂

[Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3]

I’ve been deep cleaning my house, so far I’ve removed 2,547 rocks 6,872 leaves and 4,925 sticks from my kid’s rooms

[LemonsNotLemonade @NotLemonz]

Hear me out: “when I was your man” (Bruno Mars) BUT sung by Gilmore Girls Jess‘s @MiloVentimiglia in another GG robot?

[Dadman Standing @dadmann_walking]

Normal people: hey I just ran out of shampoo. I need some more

Teenagers: hey I ran out of shampoo like 5 months ago why haven't you gotten me more yet?

[Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3]

Everywhere you turn they tell moms to do self care, so I’ve been sleeping more, exercising, and eating better and now I am behind on everything in my life

[LemonsNotLemonade @NotLemonz]

Tried a new recipe. Kid2 starts complaining when he walks in the door from the smell. Complaining continues over the meal. When clearing plates: “you know, this tastes pretty good with the cauliflower and rice. I’m going to bring some for lunch!”

Anyone want a free kid?

[Dadman Standing @dadmann_walking]

Just a dad who slept in and still got to have coffee outside in the peace and quiet because this having older kids thing is bitchin'. Sorry, toddler parents.

[Crime Junkie Podcast @CrimeJunkiePod]

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RECORD EVER AGAIN KNOWING @Adele IS LISTENING!?

✨ Adele video credit to theycallme.carol on TikTok✨