Not Me

Basically just here for Robert Pattinson content in a way I can't be with my real profile. Dedicated to uncovering his secret twitter since 2020.

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

#NotMe

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

I am not me. I am also not Queen Elizabeth II. Even though I did once bump into her en route to a jam factory, I am still not Queen Elizabeth II. Sorry.

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

#NotMe

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

I am not me. I am also not Hilary Mantel. Even though I have Mark Rylance* spamming me every day, I am still not Hilary Mantel. Sorry.

*it may not be the actual Mark Rylance

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

#NotMe

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

I am not me. I am also not a bot. Even though I have a long string of randomly generated numbers after my @ name, I am still not a bot. Sorry.

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

I am not me. I am also not Kazuo Ishiguro. Even though I have been spearheading a single-handed campaign to get Robert Pattinson cast as Ryder in the (as yet) unscheduled adaptation of The Unconsoled, I am still not Kazuo Ishiguro. Sorry.

#NotMe

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

Yesterday I asked The Universe to send me Robert Pattinson and I got... a dream in which I was supposed to meet Robert Pattinson somewhere but (inexplicably) completely forgot to show up. ikr. Thanks subconscious.

#ManifestingRobertPattinson

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

I am not me. I am also not Queen Elizabeth II. Even though I did once bump into her en route to a jam factory, I am still not Queen Elizabeth II. Sorry.

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

Yesterday I asked The Universe to send me Robert Pattinson and I got... snow. Snow is not Robert Pattinson, but it is cool. Thanks Universe!

#ManifestingRobertPattinson

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

Ask Alexa to play Marcus Foster. You're welcome.

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

I am not me. I am also not Hilary Mantel. Even though I have Mark Rylance* spamming me every day, I am still not Hilary Mantel. Sorry.

*it may not be the actual Mark Rylance

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

Yesterday I asked The Universe to send me Robert Pattinson and I got... marmite. Marmite is not Robert Pattinson, but it is ok. I don't love it or hate it or anything, it's just ok. Thanks Universe.

#ManifestingRobertPattinson

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

I am not me. I am also not a bot. Even though I have a long string of randomly generated numbers after my @ name, I am still not a bot. Sorry.

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

I love this thread so much

[Nick Hern Books @NickHernBooks]

As a piece of dramatic writing, the start of the Handforth Parish Council meeting is utterly EXQUISITE.

The establishment of key backstory, the immediate insight into dynamics between the characters, the apparently civil dialogue crackling with subtext... it's all in there.

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

Just in case you are reading this, @Dior, please do not send me any Johnny Depps. I would not know what to do with them, and they would only go to waste. Also, I have elderly neighbours on one side, and I think they might find the delivery somewhat disturbing.

#JohnnyDepp #Dior

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

Ok, so I have a grand total of 31 followers on this account now and have therefore decided to become an influencer. Where do I sign @Dior, and when do I get my Robert Pattinson?

#RobertPattinson #Dior

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

Ok, so I have a grand total of 31 followers on this account now and have therefore decided to become an influencer. Where do I sign @Dior, and when do I get my Robert Pattinson?

#RobertPattinson #Dior

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

Why is normal twitter talking about a new #RobertPattinson Dior ad? Is there one? I'm confused. I can only find the old new one.

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

Yes! That's me sorted for tonight then. Fucking love Cobra Kai.

[Rotten Tomatoes 🍅 @RottenTomatoes]

#CobraKai Season 3 (96%) is now streaming on Netflix. Are you team #TeamMiyagiDo or #TeamCobraKai?

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

Love how so many Americans can't get their heads round Robert Pattinson being British. I mean, I don't know why - it's not like we're all complete knobends or anything, is it? Oh, wait -

#RobertPattinson #British #YesReally

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

Third Favourite Robert Pattinson Film: Tenet. Like it even more now Rob has admitted he didn't know what the fuck was going on most of the time either. Pretty sure even Nolan didn't.

#RobertPattinson #Tenet

[Not Me @NotMe85880033]

Second Favourite Robert Pattinson Film: The Lighthouse. Brilliant acting, script next level. Best kind of weird.

#RobertPattinson #TheLighthouse