Michael Brooks

I don’t proofread my tweets.

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

Ideally life should feel like Animal Crossing. You’re hanging out. Going to the beach. Eating fresh fruit. You are a little in a hole financially but it’s fine

[MLB @MLB]

Repost and reply for a chance to win this autographed Paul Skenes @Topps card!

[gwen howerton @kissphoria]

having a qui gon jinn summer (gambling on sports, wearing robes, adopting orphans into my ancient religion)

[The Halfway Post @HalfwayPost]

BREAKING: Kash Patel is reportedly threatening to sue anyone who calls him “J. Edgar Boozer.”

[฿₳₮₮ⱠɆ ฿ɎⱤĐ @BattleByrd]

Wife: Did you drink a ton of beer on the golf course today?

Did you remember to pick up dinner?

Did you remember to pick up your daughter from practice?

Me:

[☥𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐱 @fw_lennox1]

When your boss says "we'll get it done somehow" and you realize you're the somehow

[Justin🦩Boldaji @justinboldaji]

Telling everyone how impressive my first gay bareback orgy was

[clare @youngntragic]

Ryan getting interviewed by an astrophysicist and getting asked space related questions😭😭😭
“Would you be able to explain relativity and time dilation to me?”
“Not to you, no, why would I do that?”

[Michael Brooks @NotMikeBrooks]

@PGATOUR2K I got one!

[NFL @NFL]

Lo único más poderoso que el odio, es el amor.

The Only Thing More Powerful Than Hate is Love. @sanbenito #AppleMusicHalftime

[Elmo @elmo]

That Bunny was AMAZING. Elmo thinks he should be called Good Bunny! Elmo loves you, Mr. Good Bunny! ❤️🎶🐰

[Michael Brooks @NotMikeBrooks]

Sickening.

[Billy Hartford @CamHeywardFan]

Me after finding out the Steelers are gonna hire Mike McCarthy.

[Sayre Bedinger @SayreBedinger]

It’s been a long 10 years, Broncos Country. Let’s enjoy this weekend.

[Tej Seth @tejfbanalytics]

jarrett stidham:

[Sunday Night Football on NBC @SNFonNBC]

Bo. Knows. #NFLPlayoffs

[Jarvis @jarvis_best]

Gm