Not Phil Brenz

Hit her with a little Biggie 101, how to tote gun, and have fun with Jamaican rum *****NOT ACTUALLY PHIL BRENZ*****

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

BANGING tonight. The horse gallops again.

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

Fat people drowning were the easiest to save. They just floated. #AIFlashback

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

.@jakemitch10 I'm baaaaaccckkkk #whatupbitches

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

Just when I thought running Asians couldn't get any funnier, that bitch Mother Nature throws in ice just for extra giggles

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

Seeing all this white powder falling from the sky gives me the itch to go out and snort some coke

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

Recent reports indicate that the real Phil engages in activities of skyping, watching shows, and playing Pokemon while studying. All at once

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

@JGussert touché

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

@JGussert @crushes_umich they're talking about Jews...
#Catholicyo

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

Wondering which fans really shop at Walmart after seeing those shitty Sparty hats. #Pitiful #BeatState

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

Going as a nerd tonight. #thrifty #getatme

[Isaac Baker @Ike20Baker]

"I wish it was Friday.. Oh wait I still have hw to do so once I'm done then it can be Friday" #therealPhil @NotPhilBrenz

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

@JGussert impossible. #HedDie

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

If you're reading this as you wake up it means you were asleep when I tweeted it which means I studied longer than you and... #pitiful

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

Clearly I need to go out and teach them Tigers how to swing the wood and smack the balls #chicksdigthelongball

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

Birthday shout out to the real Phil today!!! #killinem!!!

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

Please let me know if you would ever buy a "Sun's Out Guns Out" tank right now so I can never talk to you again. #douches

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

Super pumped that this Asian girl is on speaker phone in the library right now. #you #are #inconceivably #stupid

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

Asian in a polo sweatshirt....
#um

[Not Phil Brenz @NotPhilBrenz]

@AbbeyFuller1 you'll adore college.