Slaymantha

I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going. sc: sam_herk

[Slaymantha @NotSamPatt]

If you aren't having fun.. what are you doing?😂😊

[Pop Base @PopBase]

"I don't do this with men very often. I started examining his body. I didn't know he was a great athlete. I watched up and down. I looked at his ass and I looked at the whole— And then I looked at his hands. He's got these like claws."

— Donald Trump on Senator Jon Husted

[Return of the Butch Queen ♛ @imjerrynotkevin]

She ateeee 😭😭😭 because fr if your dad is THEE Jim Carrey, why tf are you out here filming shit like this

[ً @mIvnqt]

THE DIFFERENCE??😭

[Tanishq (tk) @tanishqk]

wtf. never leaving this site

[Micah Erfan @micah_erfan]

This is quite literally the most important thing we could do as a country.

[Kevín @KevOnStage]

FRIIIIIED CHICKEN!!

[ily @luhyoumf]

not to creep you out but i have a habit of appearing in people's timeline before everything starts working out for them

[Spoo(Kay) 👻🎃💀 @rinnegoddess]

OH MY GOD

[Carbon 🇺🇲 @BlessedCarbon]

Imagine being a little baby and your job is hot glue gun

[Darren Mooney @Darren_Mooney]

Fun fact, Clint Eastwood discovered that horses who had been on film sets long enough reacted to “action!” and “cut!”, meaning they started giving unnatural performances.

So Eastwood, as director, took to saying “whenever you’re ready…” and “that’s enough of that…” instead.

[Mía 🇦🇷🏳️‍⚧️ @MiaSofiV]

RRHH: Te autorizaron la semana libre.
Yo: No pedí nada.
RRHH: No importa.
Yo: ¿Seguros?
RRHH: Sí.
Aviso a mi supervisor y me la tomo. Hoy me llaman para decirme que los días eran para otra Mía, pero que, como no tengo pendiente, me la tome igual. Pero "que no vuelva a pasar". 🤦🏻‍♀️

[BabaYaga @BabaYaga2397]

Guys... GUYS

[Nina ⚰️🥀🖤 | MCRmy | Debutation Truther🦋🐍 @pyrexthottie]

Noah babe I know you're never gonna see this fucking purse but maybe someday you will and I sure hope so bc I busted my fuckin ass on it fr

[Jonathan Slater @slater57649]

I’m really not using my kid to the fullest potential

[bob's burgers urbanist 🐿️ @yhdistyminen]

Once had an argument with a friend re: whether mushrooms are vegetables. I insisted they were. He didn't. We checked Wikipedia. "Mushrooms, despite not being plants, are typically not considered vegetables." Very strange wording. Check history. That fucker edited the page 5 minutes ago

[Jahmeir D. ✭ @JDCowboys2]

The last CEO fr just wasn’t trying bro she’s literally undefeated rn