Not Terri Traen

My dog's feet used to smell like Fritos

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

@WebbH62 you can't fire a parody account, but I'm going to hang em up anyway.

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

Well, I'm just surprised I didn't get fired too.

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

“@stpaulrockcity: Today was my last day on the KQ Morning Show. Totally surreal. Sad face.”
😭😭😭

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

The full moon is a harbinger of weather change. Not because it has a gravitational pull on the earth's oceans, but because of black magic.

[Not Dave Mordal @NotDaveMordal]

What was Hilary's email address anyway?
[email protected]?
[email protected]?
[email protected]?
[email protected]?

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

Just because I'm always wrong doesn't mean that I'm ways wrong.

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

Tom talks to Dan Marino and doesn't even get an interview I can take credit for booking. What the heck.

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

Animals are so smart

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

My dog is so smart, he's been laundering money from the orchard for years now and we just found out.

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

I wonder if I had a sauna if it would help me sweat out all the booze I have on the weekends.

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

@bobsansevere thank you, no one has ever called me brilliant before

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

I think Philly is getting tired of all the crap we're talking about liberals today. Maybe when the President is white again he won't care.

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

It was weird when I got in today Dave let me in and was really nice but my studio smelled like smoke.

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

I get that they wanted me to do the on location promo, but why did I have to turn in my keys to the station before I went?

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

Maybe we could do a huge office pool, @stpaulrockcity? Tom could buy like 1000 tickets, and if one of them wins, we all get to split it.

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

"I wish the lottery just had like 11 one million dollar winners in each state"

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

“@stpaulrockcity: “@TIME: You've got two hours left to buy a Powerball lottery ticket http://t.co/3o4MTbZuL3” @NotTerriTraen”

I bought 17

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

Don't forget to spay and neuter your pets and buy lots of apples

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

Woohoo Friday! Let's get drunk and go buy some apples!

[Not Terri Traen @NotTerriTraen]

Say Hey, Hank Aaron. #happybirthdaytotheyankeeclipper