Not Today Eric

Gen X | Simple Man | Food Fan

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

“Are you free Sunday night”

Are you out of your mind.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

“Are you putting up your tree”

Are you insane.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

I understand why people live in the woods.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

And then one day you’re older than your boss.

It’s weird.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Eat all of your snacks at once so you don’t eat more later. Health is everything.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

The sun saves up all its sick days and uses them at the end of the year. Smart.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Nobody cleans like an angry person.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

If this doesn’t bother you we can’t be friends.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

@SmithJocel90453 Couldn’t have said it better myself.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

How they respond to being insulted:

Boomers: you’re rude

Millennials: you’re mean

Gen X: your mom

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

With great couch comes great potato.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Bedtime as a kid: boohoo.

Bedtime as an adult: woohoo!

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

@cowincrisis

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Bad day? I love you.
Exhausted? I love you.
Stressed out? I love you.

- Dogs

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

I'm old enough to get mad at noise.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

We moved the clocks one hour now 8pm feels like it’s five hours past my bedtime.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

I had a joke about November but it was too dark.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Whoever invented the 5 day work week didn’t understand humans.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

@IAmJohnAles Thanks John. 😂

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Twitter needs a Gen X section where nobody gets their feelings hurt.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

My neighbor put antlers on her car so I’m moving.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

@floppyboot Not today.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but today is Tuesday.