John Doe

[Neet @neet_sol]

You know what kid, I think you might have what it takes to be unemployed.

[John Doe @NotactuallyJohn]

@DlCKFORD Reading a classic piece of Russian literature in the mother language

[Pub @PubWanghaf]

How every game of RISK ends

[Augustine @kptnkewl]

*plucks a pube* she loves me
*plucks a pube* she loves me not
*plucks a pube* she loves me
*plucks a pube* she loves me not
*plucks a pube* she loves me
*plucks a pube* she loves me not

[Charli @charli_xcx]

“yeah i wanna dance to me me me me me. when i go to the club club club club club club” - charli xcx, songwriter of the year xx

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

marriage is hard, but we don’t talk enough about how with the right person it’s also just having a fun slutty giggly sleepover for the rest of your life

[greg @gandalf_thegreg]

got banned from jersey mike’s for audibly moaning while they drenched my sandwich in oil and vinegar

[Arynne Wexler @ArynneWexler]

Trump took time at the Super Bowl to meet with special needs kids

The media will never show you this

[John Doe @NotactuallyJohn]

@DlCKFORD No way

[adam @adoomie03]

Nice high beams bro do you wanna see an unregistered firearm

[𝓛𝓾𝓱𝓪𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷 @luhaenten]

"How much protein is this?" "Does it have enough protein?" Shut up. How much love is in your heart? Do you have enough love? Enough tenderness?

[W.E.B. DaBoi @Tyre_94]

One of the greatest tweets of all time

[claire 🪴 @Emberofhearts]

Is it bad that I find this image genuinely hilarious still