Nothing Weird

You know it's not weird when somebody tells you it's not weird #nothingweird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

Turns out the sperm bank doesn't have a great return policy, but Walmart will take ANYTHING back #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

I really love yoga pants!!!!! They are great for keeping my balls in place and plus they make my butt pop #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

After years of research I found a positive correlation between a woman's weight and likeliness I am going to get a blowjob #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

That moment when you realize that the prostitute you purchased has a penis #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

If you are drunk and have a twitter account. You're never drinking alone #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

In my opinion, a restraining order is just a piece of paper... #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

If I have fingers and a penis, I can be in two places at the same time #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

Drinking beer while watching 14 year old girls play volleyball #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

I wanted to be more cultured, so I put my pubes in cornrows #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

Just moved to a new neighborhood! Gave my neighbors a cake. It said "I'm a sex offender." Half of that was required by law #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

Masturbated with my girlfriends acne cream. I was just trying to be proactive... #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

Just faked an orgasm to make myself feel better #DrunkMasturbation #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

@SamsungMobileUS thanks for making a phone bigger than my penis

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

I don't think women hit their sexual peak until they are at least 65 years old #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

I either had sex with an actual leprechaun yesterday or a midget dressed as one. Either way I had to pay for it #stpatricksday

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

Even I hate seeing a dogs butthole #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

It's so hard to masturbate to a romantic novel #needmorehands #nothingweird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

I ALWAYS have good luck picking up women outside planned parenthood #NothingWeird

[Nothing Weird @Nothingweird]

What do watermelons, eqqplants, cantaloupe, and my vacuum hose all have in common? #MyPenisHasBeenInsideThemAll #NothingWeird