A. Pappafras

Adonitologist

[A. Pappafras @NottPappy]

My diet consists of coffee and menthols

[Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan]

[on my death bed]
"Why didn't I just buy a normal bed?"

[Perc 𒉭 @PercThaGoat]

its a swimsuit nigga stop watching porn

[A. Pappafras @NottPappy]

Serving paying customers out of a building like this is wiiiild @pizzahut shameful.

[Äeryn🌙⚡️ @dualedraumar]

Lack of purpose leads to romantic obsessions and limerence

[james hawkins @james406]

parents: "move out"

girlfriend: “quit being such a loser”

boss: "work harder"

claude: "uber for dogs (the dogs are the drivers) is a great idea, you should absolutely pursue it"

[President-Elect Toguro @PresidentToguro]

Sorry to break it to you kid, it's because of you. The moment you step away, everyone will put their phones down and immediately start having a subway party. You have rancid vibes and everyone senses it

[A. Pappafras @NottPappy]

I know I was cooked when my probation officer did 30-18 on her calculator.

[cheyenne @cheyeyeyeyey]

Please stop announcing the Northern Lights will be visible if they will not be visible to me.

[Diabetic of Enlightenment @dee_of_e]

slob on my knob
sponge on my bob
I’m Mr Krabs
come do your job

[im_putchi @im_putchi]

hey

[Zach @jestermaxxing]

Yeah nice story. I know you stole my gumball give it back.

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

why tf does garlic have to wear so many little jackets

[nikita @poohthebear0]

not a single nonchalant bone in my body, I see the sky change color and I’m jumping like a fool

[Old Hollow Tree @OldHollowTree]

Good morning.

[Isaac @isaacturnersong]

A smile is a gang sign for friendly people

[AnnabelleWilin @AnnabelleWilin]

Dudes be wanting thick girls but can't lift them up