NukeyB

musician, chronic klutz and collector of cats IG: nuclearblonde77

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

Every time I see a random garbage bag on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere I just assume it has body parts in it.

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

@Habs2112Tony Lol good to see not much has changed 😉

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

@bills_daviss It’s SO frustrating and really puts a dampener on your holidays.

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

Well the @aircanada saga continues...

connecting flight delayed by hours, lost my premium seat that I paid extra for and now trying to locate my missing luggage. Gouge me for almost $1400 to fly between provinces at Christmas just to have THE worst service. #notahappycustomer

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

@AirCanada DM sent

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

@AirCanada, you suck. You rebooked my flight from 6am Friday to 2pm Saturday. How the fuck do you think I can make my connecting flight TOMORROW? Time travel? and I can’t even reach an agent thanks to your ‘new’ reservation system. #vacationruined

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

When a restaurant puts Miracle Whip on my sandwich instead of mayo... I want to burn down their establishment. Lunch ruined. 😩

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

Traveling for work and my company decided to put me up in a hotel filled with Marines and construction workers. It’s like they know me or something. 😍

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

@BKinDetroit Haha! Love it! That’s what I’m talkin ‘bout! 👍

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

I can’t wait till I’m the age where I can sit in a Diner eating pie all day.

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

“Sorry I’m running late... I got my hair stuck in velcro” pretty much sums up my day.

[Pugnado 🐾🌪 @LuvPug]

Sometimes I wonder if the girl who took the midnight train to anywhere ended up with the guy who left on the midnight train to Georgia

[cathryn 💚🇨🇦 @AngryRaccoon2]

I'm so lazy, I'm more of an "atrophy" wife.

[Kell's Bells @LanaKelRey]

Guys,

Be addicted to her, not a dick to her

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

The only anxiety I have about going on a date with a man 15 years my junior is the point at which I have to whip out my reading glasses to peruse the menu.

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

My body may not be perfect but I can do perfect things with with my body.

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

They’ve hired some real winners to clean our office ducts.

Actual conversation:

Dude 1 - okay get ready to turn me on!

Dude 2 - *giggles*

D2 - let me know when I can start blowing you

D1 - *giggles*

D1 - stop! It’s coming out wet!

D1 & D2 - hysterical laughter

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

Don’t ask me a question you can Google because I will tell you to go fuck yourself.

Incidentally, you can Google that too.

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

Just come in and work over shutdown... it’ll be easy they said.

You can dress casually they said.

You can crank your tunes they said.

oh but THEY forgot to mention that there would be NO fucking air conditioning turned on in the offices!

*slowly turns into a puddle*

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

@AugustDonnelly Who are you crusty at now? I can’t keep up 😜

[NukeyB @NuclearBlonde77]

It’s kinda sweet that the Vet addresses emails to my cat to remind him of appts like they think he’s just sitting at the computer opening up his mail and marking the date in his calendar.