A Southern Cynic

Treat it like boxing. Stick and Move.

[wicked wigger of the west @Nick_Cerveza]

Gum technology has completely stagnated. No progression in decades. The flavor should last minimum 8 hours by now. Ludicrous

[K @Damocleansword]

Sepp Blatter had a finesse with his own corruption. It never impeded with the love of the game. Infantino on the other hand is just a straight up jaguda.

[. @tosinmm_]

USMNT fans seeing that Folarin Balogun can play against Belgium

[Gabriel Xavier @EconomiaXavier]

"Are you a Socialist or an Anarchist"? He said, "A Socialist." I said, "Me, too! Democratic Socialist or actual Communist?" He said, "Actual Communist." I said, "Me, too! What school?" He said, "Marxism." I said, "Me, too! Revolutionary Marxism or Reformist Marxism?" He said,

[Zohran Kwame Mamdani @ZohranKMamdani]

we both up now

[Jeremiah Ainebyona @jerryjones99]

Can't wait for Arsenal to win the league, so I can go on LinkedIn and post about the power of patience and perseverance during hard times.

[Asad🇵🇸 @Asxdk_98]

GYOKERES FIRST SEASON IN THE PREM AND HE’S SLAPPED A PL ON YOUR HEADTOP😭❤️

[onion person @CantEverDie]

the tech world has genuinely not grappled with how many people
despise them and what they make

[Carl Anka @Ankaman616]

Ok, but what if Atlético Madrid v Arsenal is also an entertaining watch?

Is there a plan in place for that?

[Media Lens @medialens]

This is the world we're living in:

'Trump’s executive order sanctioning Albanese prohibited any American person or entity from providing her with “funds, goods or services” – a description so broad it has been compared to a “civil death”. Her apartment in Washington, bought when she and her family were living in the US capital, has been seized. She can no longer use a credit card anywhere in the world, as almost all such transactions are processed by US-based services. “I go around with cash or I have to borrow from friends or from family members,” she says.

'She accuses pro-Israel activists based in Geneva of hounding her husband, Massimiliano Calì, a senior economist at the World Bank, in a campaign that led to him being removed from his lead position running its Syria file. “The World Bank was completely craven,” Albanese says. “He has stellar records of performance in all his positions.”'
https://t.co/w6j2l1gEYM

[McKay Coppins @mckaycoppins]

Last year, I met a Mexican athlete who told me an incredible story—that he’d been kidnapped in 2023 and forced to compete for his life in a secret tournament of cartels. Once I started reporting, the story only got more surreal.

For the May issue:
https://t.co/O7YQwJRpu5

[Storyteller Lemmy @LemmySmackett]

"Jesus, Paul, look at this receipt—ten dollars for a single potato. This new Value-Mart AI surge pricing is killing me, man. Killing me."

“That’s nothing, Bill. Wait ’til the next update: the store will be able to see exactly how much money you have in your bank.”

“You’re kidding.”

“And your 401k.”

“@#$% me sideways.”

“That’s why I use URCHN to do my groceries.”

“Really? What’s URCHN?”

“URCHN is the latest in affordable concierge shopping.”

“Oh, you mean like Uber or Instacart. What makes them different?”

“Orphans.”

“𝑂𝑟𝑝ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑠?”

“That’s right, Bill. And not just any orphans. Dirty, starving orphans who live under overpasses.”

“Uuuh.”

“As you know, the cameras in the grocery aisle scan your face and adjust the price based on race, socioeconomic status, and dietary restrictions. But you know who always gets the best prices, no matter what?”

“…orphans?”

“Yep.”

“I don’t know, Paul, that seems a little-”

“Of course, the AI still discriminates based on race, which is why they send a multi-racial team of no less than four dirty orphans to buy your groceries.”

"Um."

“The Latino child buys your rice, and the Asian child buys your tortillas.”

“Yeah, no, I get it.”

“And the black child-”

“Sorry, uh, these are children, right? Small children?”

“Of course. Teens would raise the price.”

“How do they, uh, reach the items on the top shelves?”

“They stand on each other’s emaciated little shoulders.”

"Jesus."

"Yeah, the Hispanic orphan tends to be on the bottom."

"What?"

"Sturdy stock."

“…and how much do you save?”

“My last potato was 34 cents.”

“#$&@ it, I’m in.”
---
[r][title: AI Surge Pricing]

[FIFA Club Football @FIFACF]

Arsenal are #FIFAWCC Champions. 🏆

[Richárd @krichard121212]

JAW DROPPING:
My calculator succesfully multiplied 217362143278956432589347
with 1754265437654367141254731
in seconds! I searched the scientific literature, and no one has succesfully multiplied these numbers before, let alone do so in seconds!
Calculators can do novel things!

[👨🏾‍🦯 @MAK3LELE]

Hakimi put this loss in your mom’s name bitch ass nigga

[Ewan @jelly_pack]

The most armed population in history would do something about the Gestapo roaming their streets, but they need to save ammo for real emergencies like a child playing ding dong dash, or the sudden urge to commit a familial murder-suicide.

[Verso Books @VersoBooks]

We've made The Bolivarian Revolution by Simon Bolívar, featuring an introduction by Hugo Chávez, free to download.

"Bolívar foresaw the threat of the US and described it
with surprising clarity."

https://t.co/pCzNxuDZqR

[Louise Jensen Duffy (also Ernest Jensen) @LouiseWeebe]

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

[𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 @andrejgee]

last piece of the year: dug into the origins of “6-7” &what the co-opting says about america

https://t.co/3TEf1TTLiO

[Ｋａｔｉｅ🌱🚜 @ktwagie]

"So crazy they make you work on Christmas" - customer in the store buying shit