Mr Veneering

Tweeting as part of @DickensOMF

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

Everyone in Calais is dyspeptic or depressed! L'Huile de Reptile de M. Veneering flies off the shelves! I'm rich again! #OMFcounterfactuals

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

"Chicksey, Veneering and Stobbles's Reptile Oli: Be kind to your behind." Excellent! But why didn't I think of it when it still mattered?

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

Oh frabjous day. Calloo! Calais!

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

I hear Calais on the rise. Who needs London anyway?

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

I have nothing left but the cannabis. Thank heaven for the cannabis. (I just wish someone would invent Wotsits already.)

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

Curses! The Chiltern Hundreds business was all a lie, a dirty trick. And now I am facing a cold, windy day bereft of my Pocket Breeches.

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

And the appointment comes with a salary, too!. Goodbye, Pocket Breeches. I am better off without you.

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

I am told that being Crown Steward and Bailiff of the Chiltern Hundreds is even more prestigious than being MP for Pocket Breeches!

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

Perhaps all is not lost! I has been offered a parliamentary appointment as Crown Steward and Bailiff of the Chiltern Hundreds!

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

@OMF_Rokesmith I know what this feels like.

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

@OMF_Veneering On the other hand: it does mean that there's a handy supply of cannabis left over for me to cart away once darkness falls.

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

To be honest, the Reptile Oil never did do as good a job as Chlorodyne. Perhaps I shouldn't have cut back on the cannabis quite so much.

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

And farewell, Chicksey, Veneering and Stobbles's Reptile Oil.

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

And farewell, Chicksey, Veneering and Stobbles.

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

Disaster. An army of Bill collectors beating at the door. Farewell, my dear old camels, farewell.

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

Perhaps one last gathering of our oldest and dearest friends @OMF_MVeneering? They'll be sure to come. If the news hasn't got out yet.

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

Steel yourself for trying times, @OMF_MVeneering. And order cheaper cuts of meat.

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

Bills. Bills bills bills. A lot of bills. Of bills a lot.

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

Chicksey, Veneering and Stobbles's Reptile Oil: Would you believe me if I told you that 8 out of 10 cats prefer it?

[Mr Veneering @OMF_Veneering]

Chicksey, Veneering and Stobbles's Reptile Oil: Just do it. Please, please, I'm begging you. Buy some. Now. Please.