Trunk Dinkerbell

Caffeine, Valium, and Metamucil, w a shot of fuckwit observations from a bleeding-heart liberal of a Texan with fake nails and a shotgun. oh my life is so hard

[Trunk Dinkerbell @OMLISH]

I like sparkly things. #MyBiggestFlawIn4Words

[Trunk Dinkerbell @OMLISH]

@MuppetBeanPods @datageneral @mattyglesias @TrentonHassles Oh kudos to you sir. I doff my aluminum hat to you and applaud you vociferously.

[Trunk Dinkerbell @OMLISH]

There's not enough Klonopin to get "Flagpole Sitta" out of your head. Or at least not out of mine. Yet.

[Manda Skeptically 🦾🥦🏳️‍🌈 @ShutUpAmanda]

I’m so irritated with these #MAGAts thinkin theoretical babies are more important than actual ones.

They’re fine when a very-real 7-year-old migrant girl dies of dehydration, but when a woman gets an abortion it’s “murder”.

Dumbass cyberhicks.

[Trunk Dinkerbell @OMLISH]

@godless_mom I shouldn't be surprised by how little actual advice you got. Since our coloring is very similar, I would also suggest Bountiful Blush from Clinque Chubby Stick balm. Depending on if you wear purples or oranges, Benefit's sheer balms are gorgeous as well.

[Trunk Dinkerbell @OMLISH]

@godless_mom You can never go wrong with Black Honey by Clinique. It's a perfect sheer (not as dark as it sounds) and wears well.

[Dax Gigandet @Dax_Gigandet]

Raise your hand if you know it's a crime to lie to the FBI. 🖐

[Manda Skeptically 🦾🥦🏳️‍🌈 @ShutUpAmanda]

#WhileWaitingInLine at Planned Parenthood I saw women get preventative cancer screenings, STD treatment, Prophylactic birth control, hormone therapy and infertility services...

It’s almost like...they do a lot of good and people should stop being dicks about it.

[Bobby Henderson @henderob]

Can't believe it's that time of year again ...

[Trunk Dinkerbell @OMLISH]

I need a new word for Uterus. My fertile childbearing years are done. Its not a womb, awaiting life. It's more like a nauseated wombat, shuffling along aimlessly, awaiting another 23 days before it can barf everywhere again.

[Michelle Wolf @michelleisawolf]

I bet you'd be on my side if I had killed a journalist. #BeBest

[Ken Olin @kenolin1]

Next Sunday NFL players should protest Trump by taking an umbrella.

[Trunk Dinkerbell @OMLISH]

Oh thank the gods. I've been looking for one of these.

[Sarah Silverman @SarahKSilverman]

Congrats Sheldon Adelson on buying your wife a Presidential Medal of Freedom! “He went to Jared!” 💎

[Johnsense. @Johnsense38]

*listening to classic rock*

Ooh, this riff would make a great beat for a hip hop song....

Ah crap. Of course the Beastie Boys did it. 😊

[Trunk Dinkerbell @OMLISH]

I would love a peek at Walgreens data right now to see if there is any spike in Valium refills submitted tonight. #ElectionDay