Gutterpimp

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

The 19-year-olds who attend my favorite university didn’t score enough touchdowns today so I’m blacked out, facedown in the driveway. My wife is crying, begging me to come inside & sing Happy Birthday to my son. “Please just reverse the Rav4” I whisper into the concrete.

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

@jzux Jon Hamm on 30 Rock

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

@soulkhan Cuties

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

@nealbrennan I wait tables. A group of older guys I was waiting on were very happy she was being made an example of. It was gross.

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

@BillBailey RIP BOOF

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

@rejectedjokes Uh oh. You texted me wanting to hang out, we hung out, did hella gay butt stuff, and “you’re” still here. I had a suspicion it wasn’t really you, but the fantasy overshadowed my rationale. Maybe I’ll pretend a while longer. It’s nice having a warm body to hold. You’re so sturdy.

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

Very nice man pussy I found.

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

@rejectedjokes No but Vitmamix is superior to Blendtec

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

Dad’s penis: 6.5 in.
Mom’s penis: NA
My penis: 6 in.
My brother’s penis: NA

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

Finance Above Females: I considered tweeting that alone, but it’s a bad tweet. It’s a play on Money Over Bitches, which is a fun thing people used to say. The two are linked. Without money a man will assuredly be visited by bimbos less frequently. Basically: Money Leads to Sex.

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

A shot of apple cider vinegar a day keeps the memory of happiness away. #thetasteofdefeat #atablespoonoffear #fuckmymouthandmakemeskinny

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

I’m back on this Twitter account. This account is what the children call my “burned” account. I don’t know how a twitter account could get burned, but consider this Twitter account and all of the tweets from this account to be 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 (burned)

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

i am a butt head or head ass ? asking for a friend (my head... or my butt/ass?).

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

After I had surgery on both knees I'd go up stairs with less quad, more butt. I now have over-developed glutes and my taint chafes daily.

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

@BaldyMcSquid Makes sense. Was that Dave's point? I just don't think controlling convo by silencing people, however crazy, is the answer.

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

@BaldyMcSquid @52potatoes Y'all like Dave's quip, but what point did I miss? I really don't know. Maher says debate is good, Dave disagrees?

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

@daveanthony So you're saying if debate worked, Maher wouldn't have a job 'cause he's been wrong before? Maher's an ass, so is Milo, iono.

[Gutterpimp @OZdividedby28]

@daveanthony Maher is saying debate is the way to engage, to teach and change minds. Running from it is not going to help anyone.

[Gutter Pimp @Sketch_the_BF]

BREAKING NEWS: A 26-year-old boy was hungover today but is feeling a bit better and kinda liked the new Star Wars movie.