Oatmeal Hands

just your average dad (sans kids)

[Oatmeal Hands @OatmealHands]

"Ok I'll say it: Meshuggah is very fucking talented."
*entire world slow claps*

[Oatmeal Hands @OatmealHands]

(Guy on trial for illegal downloads.)
"Good luck pirating in prison."
"Shiver me timbers?"
"You are an embarrassment."
(Hits gavel.)

[Oatmeal Hands @OatmealHands]

"I'm trying to diversify my portfolio."
*opens manila folder filled with copies of Now 11*

[Oatmeal Hands @OatmealHands]

"You hot?"
*shrugs shoulders*
"Cold?"
*shrugs again*
"Just right?"
*transforms into stealth bomber*