OceanDenham

Pisces which means I cry alot

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

When he asks if you came and all he did was rub an ingrown hair. #2022dating

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

My nail tech - What nails do you want?

Me - I want to ruin my boyfriend back but also wipe my arse

Her- say no more

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

@beccleton77 Where is the lie

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

When he asked if you came, but all he did was rub an ingrown hair for 5 mins.

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

@danseboheme I don't blame him sis

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

Not to be fucking dramatic or anything, but I will not swipe right if you have a bio that says you like hiking and adventures. You can fuck right off getting up at 6am to watch the sunset.

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

I'm so exhausted I fell asleep during my Brazilian. That shit hurts I must be exhausted

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

I lost the audience last night at a gig, it all went down hill when I did a song about David Attenborough potentially liking pegging. Win some lose some

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

Rangas are my krypotonite 🔥

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

How the actual fuck are people meeting the love of their lives on dating apps when I just had a guy message me and I quote " Average dick, good chat" . Hmmm I'll get back to you Hu

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

@AudreyPorne He looks normal

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

@AudreyPorne @kanleyyy Why can I relate xx

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

Sometimes I think I want a boyfriend then I have a wank then realise, no, I'm good..

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

I'm a slut for punishment, which means I eat dairy whilst being dairy intolerant.

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

Tinder Swindler and Bad Vegan are showing me that me being single isn't that bad 😅

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

Brah a dude with a fucking ankle bracet is giving me the eye, who is manifesting him for me stop ✋

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

But does he like Tiny Teddies 🧸

[Audrey Porne of the Dead @AudreyPorne]

Ōtautahi! We are telling new jokes in one shared show. Four comedians, one show. Heaps of new jokes. Mostly funny. @HeyRayShipley @OceanDenham @comedygoodtimes

https://t.co/ZkBR7QBBXP

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

@_felixnz It's a hard no from me ahhaha

[OceanDenham @OceanDenham]

At 26 I have hemaromids and not kids and I know what I would rather have #hemaroidsallday