Rockpool Monster

Die only when your shell becomes too strong for you to tear yourself free and molt. Spit defiance at the fishermen. Lobsterpot Gehenna. Clack clack. (Him)

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

On your 18th birthday you must last five minutes in the tank with the ancestral lobster. To fail is to be disinherited, and devoured. Every generation the challenge grows, as this immortal representative of the family wealth becomes larger and more obstreperous with each year.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@skellyjacks1 I am out here prayin' that Mortal Shell II lives up

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@ScrtDrugAddict @hotpress Hang on. Is the writer quoting Mother Horse Eyes?

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@Distrbeachboy "May you make a small but unfixable error while filling out important paperwork, and have to go up to the desk and ask the clerk for a fresh copy of it."

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@CosmicLass Oh, absolutely. Social media is like taking a fukken angle grinder to the primate brain.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@CosmicLass You know the way everyone knows smoking is just quietly, cumulatively bad for your health? I genuinely think using cars for everything, driving everywhere, and spending hours of one's day in a car is like that, but for people's mental health.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@IGN Andromeda if:
- Minimal launch bugs
- 30% less open world fetch questing
- Couple more really good action set pieces
- Tighten up the writing, 10% less quippy and 10% more grim

Would have been a really solid 7/10, 8/10 on a good day.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@visakanv My general read is that anyone who calls themselves politically homeless knows exactly where their politics live, they're just aware that it's embarrassing or awkward to own up to it.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@homugabs Opening twitter today felt like getting flash banged. Right in the face.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@MsEntropy Also, the areas of America with the greatest original concentration of Scots-Irish settlers are, today, the regions with the most gun violence.

It's ok, I'm Irish, I know what we are.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@nuhre_ Oh man. You never forget your first go at the very first ogre in Dragon Age. That thing was like a little note from the devs telling you that playtime was over.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@Acyn This is because everyone and their mom sucks balls at cooking turkey, y'all act like the desired outcome is high protein styrofoam.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@umikochannart This is the most unreasonably horny thing, even while Clark is clearly way too fuck to drunk.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@SimbaYoyo @RpsAgainstTrump Weeelllllllllll Kissinger tho.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@InLoveRumin A universal truth about basically every single fandom: There is nothing which people who love [Thing] enjoy more than hating [Thing].

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@ylnathan It has the look of a beastie around which no sandwich is safe.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@skellyjacks1 The face of a man who knows he's carrying a lot of shit home.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@noribros SQUARE UP

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@inkysputter @shrimp_rider @Valahor2 Every reaction drive is a weapon effective in proportion to its efficiency.

Meow.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@skellyjacks1 THE ONLY FRUIT WHICH HAS A PASS INTO CHOCOLATE COUNTRY IS BANANA.

Orange, strawberry, raspberry, all can stay out and be enjoyed by themselves. Forcing them onto chocolate ruins both the fruit and the chocolate.

[Rockpool Monster @OceanReturner]

@CharlemagnumPI Well...before iphones, I went down the back field and spend a few days building a dam in the drainage stream system. I used bricks, mud, slate, and some discarded piping for an improvised overflow control. It raised the water level in two fields by several feet. Whoops.