Oedipus

Killed my dad and married my mom just like the Oracle said...

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

Moral of the story: trust the Oracle and maybe get a dna test before you marry any one.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

Then I did what I knew best. Fled.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

I took her brooch from her gown and blinded myself with them. I told Creon to watch over my children/siblings.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

Nasty right? Well Jocasta disappears. we later find out she killed herself. So I did what any man who found out he married his mom would do

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

That’s when we all realized that Laius was my father and Jocasta was my mom.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

But then the messenger tells me I’m adopted and that they weren’t my biological parents.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

A messenger from my home town comes and tells me that my father I ran away from has died and I didn’t kill him. I’m relieved.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

Jocasta intervenes and then tells me that she got the same prophecy for her son but she had someone kill him. Being dumb I don’t connect it

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

Me and Creon get into a heated quick back and forth argument but I had the upper hand with all my one liner insults

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

I forced Tiresias to tell us who the killer was and he said that I was the killer and that I didn’t know who my really parents were.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

Jocasta husband before was Laius. He I was killed and I sent Creon to the prophet Tiresias to find out who killed him.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

We have 4 kids and as a great parent I send Creon to the Oracle for a consultation.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

So marry this total babe name Jocasta, with the permission of Creon. Jocastas brother.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

So I get to this place called Thebes and there is a Sphinx who is being a pest. I solve the riddle they make me king and I get to marry.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

So while I’m fleeing I run into this dude on a chariot. Things get heated about who had the right of way and I end up killing him.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

So like any rational young man I ran away. Dodged that bullet right?? Wrong.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

I was just living my life, you know?? And then I hear about my fate.. that I would kill my dad and marry my mother.

[Oedipus @OedipusIncest]

Listen up my dudes. You’re about to learn why you need to listen to the Oracle.