Call me Officer.
On this page you'll find:
-Goonbait for uniformed men
-Daily affirmations to submit to uniformed authority
-All things traditionally American
DMs are open for worship. Caption requests are $10.
Pay tribute to your friendly neighborhood officer here:
I logged on for the first time in a while to see more notifications than I’ve ever seen and a crazy amount of new followers. Hello. I might make more captions in the future.
Hello everyone. Horny tonight. I have Twitter in my phone so I can respond to messages, though I haven’t made a caption in a while. I haven’t prioritized porn much recently, but I still get horny like I am tonight, so feel free to say hi.
Horseback hunks mean more sweat-stained saddles to sniff and huff. K9s don't suck cop cock: They worship cops' musky scents and all that they touch instead.
#BackTheBlue
Dirty K9 bitches love to put their noses where they don't belong. You were meant to lick and snort cop-sweat from his boots, motorcycle seat, and wristwatch. Dumb dog-brained bootlickers like you aren't worthy of seeing cop bulge, let alone sniffing it.
#backtheblue
K9s don't get cock privileges until they've proven that they're capable of cleaning their alpha cops' gear. Tools over "tools." Your tongue belongs on a belt or badge, not a beefstick. But maybe if you're an exceptionally well-trained K9, we'll let you at cop crotch someday.
After spending a lot of time away, porn doesn’t hit the way that it used to. I like receiving verbal praise or DMs more than scrolling a timeline. Or maybe it’s because I’ve started interacting with more people. Either way, I will be in and out for a bit longer, but hello.
Hello everyone. I am still alive and well. I spent some extended time taking care of a family member which was good for my health (and theirs). I haven't done much jacking off outside of bathroom quickies and haven't had much time for porn content. But I'll be around soon enough.
Hello everyone. Thank you for understanding my silence. Very very busy and trying to prioritize family for the time being. But coming back to quite a few encouraging messages made me really happy. I’m sure in a week or so I’ll be back on more often.
I'd like to stress as I have in private that I'm closeted and inexperienced. This is all just fantasy for me, and I don't want to put myself in any sexual light as I don't know how comfortable I am with that just yet. But you have all boosted my confidence tenfold. Thank you.
Hi everyone. My next 4-5 days are filled with real-life obligations, so I may not reply to you very quickly. But I wanted to say thank you for all the follows and messages. I've really enjoyed connecting with so many perverts and blue-backers recently. [1/3]
I started this account as a way to express myself in an anonymous and fantastical fashion, and try my hand at Photoshop. Maybe even practice doing requests on commission, hence the "tip jar." But I've come to meet a lot of fascinating people, too, and I'm very happy about that.