Burt Mustin

Burton H. Mustin
- 2024 Presidential Candidate
- Professional Comedian, Actor, & Singer
- Former Gubernatorial Candidate

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

People often ask me why I got into politics.

My reason is simple: revenge on my enemies.

Who are my enemies?

That's for me to know, and you just made my list.

#Burt2028 #BurtMustin2028 #BurtMustinForPresident

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

I AM the mainstream media.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

Kids these days just don't understand how flavorful paint chips used to be.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

I spend most of my free time finding music videos on YouTube and commenting "Who's watching in 2025?"

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

It was over four years ago that I flooded a stranger's basement. Still thankful they were a stranger so I didn't have to feel any remorse.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

Someone held the door for me today. At first, I thought, "Oh, that's nice." Then, I thought, "Why did they feel the need to hold the door for me?" Then, I thought, "They didn't think I was disabled, did they?"

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

@woke_norm Hey pal, that was unnecessary.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

Does anyone remember a guy named Joe Biden? Heard the name today and it definitely rang a bell.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

Can all of my followers please start a movement to get Trump to make me his secretary of labor?
I believe my page is evidence enough of my qualifications.
Thanks

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

@bobdylan Appreciate your account of the convention, Bob.
It reminded me of how my memoir, "The Life and Times of the Late, Great Burton H. Mustin," has been turned down by nearly three hundred publishers.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

I hate it when people try to ruin my disinformation campaigns with facts.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

@RealGilbertACP My audition did not go well.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

I will be announcing my official endorsement for the presidency on November 6, 2024.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

Looks like the Republicans are dabbling in AI.
I heard that JD Vance guy is running on the latest version of Chat GOP.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

They say my vision is too poor for me to drive.
I say, once I hit 140 mph, it's all a blur anyway.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

I remember when I got my first acting job and my first agent. He told me, "young man, I'm going to make you the next Paul Fix!"
I think my film legacy speaks for itself.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

I'm sorry to report that all copies of my special were intentionally destroyed by a rival comic.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

Be on the lookout for my upcoming stand-up special, "Wanted: Alive."

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

Be on the lookout for my upcoming stand-up special, "Wanted: Alive."

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

Back in my day, none of the women I knew painted their fingernails.
If you wanted colored nails, you'd just slam 'em in the door.

[Burt Mustin @OfficialBMustin]

I tried to audition for the Mills Brothers once, being a barbershop singer and all.
They turned me down immediately, saying something like, "you're not even related."
Yeah, sure. What an excuse.
If you don't like my voice, just come out and say it!