Dave Gajda

Disgruntled nerd

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

I'm so tited

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

Please stop texting me

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

Looking for a good way to lose weight? Instead of grabbing that bag of chips, try putting a burning cross in your yard. #tipoftheday

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

Ok, guys, everyone stop what you're doing right now and follow @carsalesmanbob. Golden bullion cubes of wisdom.

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

Have also now incorporated the word Cumberpatch into my phone's dictionary. #nerd #Sherlock

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

Thanks to Mr. Cumberpatch, this past year I have said the word "Benedict" more times than I have since I studied the Revolutionary War.

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

And there go half my followers.

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

Obama playing golf with Tiger Woods isn't so much news in and of itself, but because they were twerp black guys golfing AT THE SAME TIME!

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

Does anyone else think the Pipe probably resigned so he could finally do it up at Mardi Gras?

[Joel McHale @joelmchale]

Since waking up this morning, Taylor Swift fell in love, endured a bad break-up, and wrote 4 nominated songs about it. #GrammysWithJoel

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

I seriously work with this man. #ArrestedDevelopment

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

In Nashville, but stuck in a Firestone waiting room, watching choking shows on NPT. God, what have I done to offend thee?

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

Grandma: "You know, you had on your calendar that you were going to poker on Valentines day"
Poker? I barely know her!

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

Guys, I'm a terrible Christian. I really can't stand the Blimey Cow videos.

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

Best part of being a graduate? Watching other people freak out when they remember they have a test the next day. #AboveThat

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

My new deodorant smells like pine needles. Every time I lift my arm, I'm afraid someone's handing me gin.

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

I've looked at so many twitter accounts and, no matter what they claim, none of them appear to be the real Cthulu.

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

So my wife woke me up to shower while she stayed in bed. That's fine, enjoy making 10-15% less per year. #doublestandard

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

The Statefarm commercials are less good at selling insurance as they are at proving that 80% of America has no business singing.

[Dave Gajda @OfficialSledge]

You know how to make any food taste better? Hypotriglycerides and yellow 5.