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Stealing quotes, stealing TVs. 4th grader at South Park Elementary. (Parody account)

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Either my spidey senses are tingling or my foot just fell asleep

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Goldfish are the only snack that smiles... probably because they're baked.

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Is DJ Khaled a pokemon??? All he says is his name

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All women want is sex. All guys want is to cuddle and have a good conversation.

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How to freak someone out: 1. Find someone on Facebook with the same name as you. 2. Steal their profile picture. 3. Poke them

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If you were born in the 90's...the BEST P.E. lessons involved a rainbow colored parachute.

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What you do when people sing happy birthday to you: 5% - Sing. 10% - Smile. 85% - Sit there like a dumbf*ck trying to figure out what to do.

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"HAHA YOU FAILED!" "Yeah, so did your Dad's condom."...

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#RT if you own a iPhone

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Those girls in "My sweet 16" that cry cause they got a red car and they wanted it to be pink with sparkles. Shut up bitch, I ride a bike.

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STAY HOOD #REALSHIT

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I don't always drink milk, but when I do I prefer Dos Boobies.

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The wind is such a slut. It blows everyone.

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Q( - _-)_____¦__o___Q(-_ - )

Asian Ping Pong Match!!!

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Wiz Khalifa & Rick Ross Standing Next To Each Other Looking Like The Number 10

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I hate it when I forget to turn my swag off at night and I wake up covered in bitches...

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i hate it whn teachers say "from all this talking,i assume ur done working" BITCH SHUT UP,from all this complaining,i assume ur still single

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Not Safely Removing Your USB Because You're A Fearless Bastard.

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Officer : How high are you? Me : No officer, its ; Hi, how are you?

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Obesity jokes are not funny. Those poor people have enough on their plate.