mayor

Living life one match at a time | MUFC forever | Football, banter, and passion

[mayor @OffsetBonnie]

@Bane_Brock 🤣🤣🤣

[Bambi @khafid100]

The day Pep Guardiola saw Carrick Ball live😊

[mayor @OffsetBonnie]

@yungbeyt01 @itsguzu Mambo gani hayo mzee

[mayor @OffsetBonnie]

@davido @CAF_Online Davido singing “Risky” at AFCON kickoff… African football itself is already risky 😂⚽🔥 #AFCON2025

[mayor @OffsetBonnie]

@abuyamasta

[SHQ @ShithouseryHQ]

🗣️| Gary Neville is impressed with Phil Foden’s recent form

[𝑹𝒐𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒌 @KyaloFactFile]

Love is a very rubbish activity 💔

[Thirsty Kipsoiwet 🇰🇪 🇳🇱 @Makiadi_]

I will stop frequenting clubs along Msa Road. Unaingia kupunguza stress, unatoka kama imeongezeka double. After some small research, I realized they’re frequented by Millennials and Gen X struggling with mid-life crisis, crushed ambitions, broken dreams, and ailing relationships.

Unapata mrembo pale; a few drinks in and some rounds of shots plus moshi ya shisha, and she’ll end up lying on your chest crying uncontrollably. You smile, thinking your “intel,” smooth tongue and romantic ways you learnt from watching movies has finally “landed,” and that she wants to profess her love to you after kissing many frogs of Nairobi; you ask her in very low bedroom sounds, “Nini mbaya, my love?”

In between sobs, she opens up venye her Baby Daddy amemwacha na watoto wawili and has even stopped paying rent at Greatwall Apartments, where she and her munchkins rarely see direct sunlight. The rest of the night, you’re turned into an unpaid therapist as she goes on and on about how men nowadays have become very irresponsible na wanafaa kuvalishwa dera.

After pouring her heart out, just like other Millennials and the older generation, she will be overtaken by a heavy sleep the moment it clocks 11:30 p.m., leaving you being looked at suspiciously by waiters and security personnel, thinking umemwekea mchele and want to rob her of the little she has left.

[Marvin🪵Lule @marvin_lule68]

This is when most men realize they need a wife 😂

[Lydia Owuor @itslydiaowuor]

Spotify wrapped?

[asmodeus @mact2kthewraith]

We ordered kuku choma while drunk yesterday and these guys packed us sugarcane 😭😭😭😭 we just realized in the morning when we wanted to microwave ts tunapata miwa💔🤣

[Aiprotips @Aiprotips1]

✨️𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗻𝗲✅️
✨️𝗧𝘂𝗲𝘀𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗻𝗲 ✅️
✨️𝗪𝗲𝗱𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 ⚽️

[MR GREEN @mrgnsports]

Emergency exit 😂🤣

[` @nanasasz]

I really miss the version of me that wasn't exhausted all the time and genuinely thought life would be easy.

[kayin. @holayinn]

i can’t stand silence being the answer, if you’re busy just say it and if you don’t care anymore just say it, so don’t make me figure it out on my own.

[Temi Ajibade @TemiOtedola]

I’m so so sorry I will be posting a lot. Like a lot, a lot.

Like I’ve justttt started posting. ok bye for now 🫣

[reece♰ @reeceollld]

Arab perfumes have zero chill…the entire street knows you’ve arrived

[Every Movie Plug @everymovieplug]

Top 100 movies to watch on any weekend 🍿

1. Die Hard (1988)
2. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
3. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
4. The Dark Knight (2008)
5. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
6. The Matrix (1999)
7. Gladiator (2000)
8. Inception (2010)
9. Lethal Weapon (1987)
10. Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)
11. The Bourne Identity (2002)
12. The Avengers (2012)
13. John Wick (2014)
14. The Rock (1996)
15. Speed (1994)
16. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
17. Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
18. The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
19. The Incredibles (2004)
20. The Terminator (1984)
21. Iron Man (2008)
22. The Fifth Element (1997)
23. Gladiator (2000)
24. Braveheart (1995)
25. The Raid: Redemption (2011)
26. The Revenant (2015)
27. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
28. 300 (2006)
29. The Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
30. Casino Royale (2006)
31. Predator (1987)
32. Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981)
33. The Equalizer (2014)
34. The Transporter (2002)
35. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
36. Taken (2008)
37. Edge of Tomorrow (2014)
38. Rambo: First Blood (1982)
39. Aliens (1986)
40. John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)
41. Gladiator (2000)
42. The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
43. The Hurt Locker (2008)
44. Speed (1994)
45. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)
46. Casino Royale (2006)
47. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
48. Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
49. The Revenant (2015)
50. The Fugitive (1993)
51. 300 (2006)
52. The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
53. The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
54. Avatar (2009)
55. The Wolverine (2013)
56. Casino (1995)
57. RoboCop (1987)
58. The Last of the Mohicans (1992)
59. The Dark Knight (2008)
60. Minority Report (2002)
61. Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)
62. District 9 (2009)
63. The Rock (1996)
64. X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)
65. The French Connection (1971)
66. Taken (2008)
67. The Equalizer 2 (2018)
68. Blade Runner (1982)
69. The Patriot (2000)
70. The Hunt for Red October (1990)
71. Casino Royale (2006)
72. Equilibrium (2002)
73. The Book of Eli (2010)
74. Sicario (2015)
75. The Road (2009)
76. Wanted (2008)
77. Leon: The Professional (1994)
78. Face/Off (1997)
79. Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)
80. Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome (1985)
81. The Karate Kid (1984)
82. 28 Days Later (2002)
83. The Italian Job (2003)
84. The Magnificent Seven (1960)
85. Air Force One (1997)
86. Kill Zone (2005)
87. The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)
88. Total Recall (1990)
89. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
90. Die Hard 2 (1990)
91. Speed (1994)
92. Face/Off (1997)
93. Con Air (1997)
94. 28 Weeks Later (2007)
95. 16 Blocks (2006)
96. Kill Zone 2 (2015)
97. Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995)
98. Minority Report (2002)
99. The Mechanic (2011)
100. Olympus Has Fallen (2013)

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

🚨 Manchester United plan for new talks for Carlos Baleba in the upcoming days.

Man United believe Baleba is keen on the move and personal terms won’t be an issue.

Contacts follow on Brighton side as deal remains very difficult, but United will try.

🎥 https://t.co/1zRtkdAggD